Don't ask

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A few weeks ago, TC was wearing glasses because he had an allergic reaction and his contacts were bothering him.

TC: "I hate wearing glasses because they make me look old."
(jump to FC, who is the oldest one in the room, and also wears glasses)
FC: "Thanks."
< insert laughter here >

Flash forward to tonight, at men's group.
It was JN's birthday last Saturday, but he went back to North Carolina to visit friends. He came back today, and JT made a cake. After we sing a horrible rendition of Happy Birthday, someone asks JN how old he is.
JN: "I'm old. (in chinese) 29 years old."
(jump to FC, whose age is greater than 29)
FC: "(imitating JN in a whiny voice) I'm old, I'm turning 29."
< insert laughter here >

About 20 minutes later, it is announced we have _another_ cake. Mud Pie ice cream cake. FC has recently hired a physical trainer and is on a strict diet.
FC: "C'mon, don't you know some of us are on a DIET?"
< insert laughter here >

Man, we're too nice to our friends.
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While playing basketball on Monday, Transhi was shooting with one hand. He broke his arm about 2 months ago (also playing basketball, people never learn from their mistakes) and so he couldn't use his other hand. He usually wears a sling, but that night, he just wore a brace-like-doohicky under his shirt, so it wasn't very noticable. He just kept his arm by his side and used his other hand to dribble and shoot. We kept calling him the one armed bandit. There was a little kid that was shooting with us and when he heard us, he noticed Transhi was only shooting with one hand.

Little Kid (incredulously): "You don't know how to shoot with two hands?"

What is a middle-schooler doing out at 9pm playing basketball with a bunch of strangers, anyway? Asian strangers, at that. Doesn't he know we're dangerous?
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A Native American is walking down the sidewalk in an upscale suburban neighborhood behind two strangers. He is good-looking, about 23, and plays the bass like none other. The two strangers are Caucasian, one male, one female. They look like they are a couple. They are about the same age, and attractive (as attractive as Caucasians can be, anyway. We all know Asians are the best looking people in the world). The female suddenly turns around with a disgusted look on her face. The Native American looks down and to his own horror, finds he has peed his pants. Embarrassed, he picks up his pace and walks past the two disgust-stricken Caucasians, who can't help but stare at him. The girl makes a comment about how 'they' can't help it, as if Native Americans are infamous for uncontrollably urinating in their pants. Out of nowhere, the Native American notices a truck coming down the street. He seizes the opportunity, and pushes the girl into the street, just as the truck is passing. The girl screams, and is instantly killed as the truck hits her. Her male companion is shocked at what he has just witnessed, but soon he turns furious. The Native American turns and runs down the sidewalk, hoping to escape the inevitable fury of this unknown aquaintance(there's an oxymoron for ya). As he runs, he turns into a house with an open door. As he is about to enter, two girls appear in the doorway. (For clarity, they are called Girl A and Girl B) Girl A says "I'm responsible for 3 girls who don't like you anymore. Me, my sister, and my friend (referring to Girl B)." Apparently, this is in reference to what has just transpired. Girls don't like random murderers, apparently. Girl B says, "I saw that digusting thing you just did, but are you currently dating anyone?" At which point Girl A pulls Girl B back, dumbfounded that she would still be interested in this heinous person standing in the doorway. Just then, the male counterpart to the now deceased rag doll on the street arrives at the house and the Native American starts to punch him into a bloody pulp. Blood squirts everywhere a la "Kill Bill" and the screen fades to black.

I had this dream while I was taking a nap on Monday. I was the Native American. Go figure.