good stuff

Ok, so someone told me I haven't updated this in a while but I won't mention him by name, STAN. So here goes....

As most of you know, I'm going to USC this August. Ok, now on to the good stuff.....

I have found that I have picked up at least one Taiwanese habit. That is grunting. When people talk in Taiwan, sometimes they don't even use words. They just grunt. This is particularly true when you want to express affirmation. Instead of saying "Yes", "Yup", "Right", or "Correct", you just grunt. Anyone who speaks Chinese knows what I mean. You just say "em", without opening your mouth. I have found that I do this a lot. "Do you want some fruit?" "em." "Did you go out today?" "em." "Is your mouth full and no matter what I say you won't be able to reply?" "em." I think it'll be weird when I go back to the US. People will think I'm mute.

Taipei's buses are so funny. First of all, when you get on, you need to make sure you manuever yourself into a good, safe, stable spot. If you don't know why, after the bus starts moving, you'll find out. The drivers apparently are given commission by the bus company for how many people they can make fall over or fall out of their seats while they are driving. This is not posted anywhere, but it is very evident by the way they drive. What makes it more fun is when the bus is crowded and all the moving back and forth conveniently pushes you into someone's armpit. Ah, good times, good times.

The other thing about Taipei buses are when people want to get off. All the buses have a system where you push a button or strip to signal to the driver that you want to get off at the next stop. When one person hits it, a light turns on (usually all the buttons light up) and a bell rings. Apparently, these signals are just for decoration and your musical enjoyment because no one pays any attention to them. I will stand there and watch 5 or 6 people try to hit the button AGAIN after someone has already hit it. And they'll be confused as to why nothing happens. Ok, enough of making fun of other people.

I went to the zoo last week. They have some awesome signs. I'll let you peruse them at your leisure. Most of them are self explanatory. But just in case, I'll add some comments.





Um, I don't really have anything to say about these.....we just kinda passed them when we went to the Taipei Computex show.



Yes, I'd like an order of buffalwings. And can I get those witgarlibutter? Thanks.



Ok, this is the first picture from the zoo. You know how you're not supposed to climb on the fences they put up? "Hey, you! No Striding!!!" Yeah, I kept repeating that all day.



You guys who aren't in Taiwan don't know this, but dinosaurs are not extinct. Taiwan has them. And they even have them in their zoos. You need to watch out for them when you go visit. They are dangerous animals.



I don't even know what to say about this. Why when they are trying to translate into English, they have to choose some obscure word that no one even uses? Hubbub is a real word by the way, look it up. I had to, I thought it was just something people said.



You guys thought Taiwan discriminated against people with disabilities? Well, this sign proves it. They go out of their way to make sure those of us who aren't disabled get special treatment. Are you disability-free? Then you are allowed to use this special slope. Either that, or it means this slope is free of disabled people. Either way, they are so mean here.



If you can't read Chinese, and I'm guessing most of you who read this can't, then you don't know what this means. But it's a sign of what happens when you get a snake bite. Look at the pictures. Carefully. Remember this is for little kids. The first one says after you get bitten, it'll hurt. The second one says your mouth will start bleeding, (notice all the blood coming out of his mouth) and your fingers will burn. The third one says you'll start getting dizzy and start to shake. The last one is the best. You'll get a fever, and you'll start to throw up. Notice he is still strong enough to stand and hold his hand in a thumbs up pose.



Sorry this is so blurry. If you can't read Chinese, get someone who can. This is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Literal translation is "I'm as nervous as a fart." It means something like you are as nervous as if you let out a fart. You guys all need to come to Taiwan and learn Chinese.

Busyness

Dang, Taiwan keeps me busy. Anyway, here's the rest of the good stuff about Taiwan.

Afternoon naps

Everyone (well, mostly) in Taiwan takes an afternoon nap. This starts in elementary school and continues into the workplace. Since I work part time, sometimes I come in after noon and I see everybody with their heads on their desks, snoozing away. It's very strange. I like the idea though, hehe. Gives me a chance to take a nap after lunch.

Taiwan BBQs

So last week I went to a BBQ. First of all, it's pretty hard to find a good place to BBQ cuz there's no room in the city. So you have to drive out of the city, or find a park or something. Anyway, the weirdest thing is that they eat their meat with bread. They just bring a bunch of sliced bread, cook the meat and make sandwiches. Kinda weird, but I guess it works. The fish is really good though.

Umbrellas

Taiwanese have a strange attachment to their umbrellas. First of all, if it's raining and you don't have an umbrella, you REALLY stand out. People look at you weird and everyone thinks your hair will fall out (cuz of the acid rain). The other strange thing is that if it's really sunny out, ALL the girls will take umbrellas with them to shield themselves from the sun. I heard a story where someone went to the US to study and the first time it was sunny, she took her umbrella. Everyone looked at her weird. That's the last time she did that in the US.

Bowling

I skipped work one day and went bowling with some friends. It's pretty much the same as the US, except their heaviest ball (at that bowling alley) was a 13. AND all their scoring machines are pretty messed up. It kept giving the wrong score and resetting the pins when it wasn't supposed to. Taiwanese bowl with only 1 ball (they don't grab two so you don't have to wait for the ball return).

Burping

Everyone here burps. Guys, girls, kids, adults, old people. You name it, they burp. Out loud. And they think nothing of it. It's kind of surprising at first, but then you get used to it.

Restaurants

Two things you need to be aware of about Taiwanese restaurants. First, is that the food comes out when it's READY. This means that everyone's food comes out at DIFFERENT times. Every few minutes somebody else's dish will come out, and everyone will encourage them to start eating. This frequently leads to the last person's order being forgotten by the waiter/waitress and them having to start eating 20 min after everyone else has started.

The other thing about restaurants is that if you find a worm, bug, mosquito or any other thing in your food, this is NORMAL. Happens all the time. You tell the waitress, and they first make sure that it's actually a bug, then they'll either 1) say "oh, that's nothing" and you just keep eating or 2) they will replace your food. It is considered a pretty good thing if they will do the latter without arguing. This comes from first hand experience by the way.

Clothes

If you go to a regular clothing store, you will notice one thing missing: a dressing room. Unless you go to a shopping mall, or to a very upscale store, usually the clothing stores don't let you try on clothes before you buy them. After you buy the clothes, you can't get a return, only an exchange. And no gift certificates. You either exchange it for something then and there, or you don't exchange it.

Roaches and scooters

Here's how they keep students in college in Taiwan. Alot of the walls around schools and colleges look like this.



I got to ride a scooter for real for the first time tonight. Someone let me ride it back home from church. It was pretty fun, but scary. Only the 3rd time I have ridden a scooter. Also, if the cops pulled me over, I would have to pay $200 US. Dang. I really want a scooter.

Oh, here's a pic of a roach I just killed. My hand is there for scale. I went to the bathroom, and must of stepped on it in the dark. After I came out, it was on its back missing a leg. I squished it and took a picture. Score: Jeff: 1 Taiwan Bugs: 0. Oh yeah.

New English Bible Study pics are posted.

When I spilled my drink in McDonald's

Ok, so last week I go to McDonald's to eat cuz I haven't been there in a while. I get my order, and head up the stairs to the seating area. (Everything in Taiwan is built vertically, if you didn't know, no room to expand sideways) Anyway, as I set my tray down, for whatever reason, God was in the mood to laugh. I tip over my drink, and the lid flies off, drenching my pants in Sprite ('sui bi' in Chinese). Ok, great. No problem, normally. But in Taiwan, I have no idea to tell someone that I just spilled my drink and ask them to come mop it up. Oh well, I head over to the bathrooms, clean myself up and grab some paper towels to clean it up myself. As I head back, there's some guy mopping up the floor close to where I was. Anyway, I'm hoping that he sees the spill and goes over to clean it up himself. Nope. So I try in vain to clean up a tall cup worth of Sprite and Ice off the floor with a few paper towels. It doesn't work too well. Back to the bathroom. I spot a cleaning cloth, quickly grab it and resume my wiping. Only after I'm done, does the guy come over, judge my cleaning not good enough (it wasn't anyway), and start mopping up the floor underneath my table while I sit there pretending not to notice. *sigh* I wonder what he was thinking, hehe.

When I almost fell off the escalator

Let's see........when I came back from Sherry's wedding, I arrived in Taiwan at around 9-10pm. Then, I had to take a bus back from the CKS (Chiang Kai Shek) International Airport to Taipei (about 1 hr). After that, I got on the MRT to go home. Mind you, I was lugging around my luggage and carry-on after being on a plane for about 14 hrs. So all went well until I got to my MRT station and started heading up the escalators to ground level. As I got on the escalator, I tried to roll my luggage onto one of the stairs, but it kinda got skewed and was in between two stairs. "Oh crap," I thought. So as the escalator moves up, my luggage falls backward, and me being in front of it does not provide me with any leverage and it pulls me down the stairs with it.......falling right into the woman behind me who started screaming and tried to catch me. She actually caught me (which I'm grateful for) and she looks at me all weird and says "are you okay?" To which I promptly replied, "Sorry." *sigh*

4 wheeler

Here's two pics of me riding the 4 wheeler.

So I decided to create a blog to tell you all the funny and interesting things that happen to me while I'm here in Taiwan. There's already a backlog of them, but I'll just start with today. Today after our prayer meeting somebody let me ride their scooter around. One thing I'll never understand is the mitten thingy's tied to the handles that protects Taiwanese hands from the sun. The person said they don't want freckles on their hands. Very strange. Anyway, now I REALLY want to buy a scooter and ride it around Taipei. Of course I can't cuz I don't have an ARC (Alien Residence Card) and I don't have an international driver's license. One more thing to do when I visit home. Another reason is I don't have any health insurance here, or a legal will. Those are both very important if/when you decide to ride a scooter in Taipei. =]