They don't make em like they used to

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

The scene: A 20-something year old's town house. A spacious place, but cluttered. There are signs that only a bachelor lives here. The living room is intruded by two monumental pieces. One is a large 50-inch projection TV, the other a 130 gallon aquarium. They are like yin and yang; one representing the sophistication and complexity of technology while the other a representation of the beauty and simplicity of nature. There are scraps of paper strewn about, and numerous gadgets wantonly placed in places that could only be random. The kitchen has dishes in the sink, some probably more than a week old. In order to navigate to the bathroom, you must pick where to step around various articles of clothing, trashcans, and boxes. It is raining outside. Hard. The time is late evening.

There sits 6 people around the kitchen table. Each is of Asian descent, but all fall under the all-encompassing catch-phrase "Asian-American". They range in age from 23-27. They speak candidly about life topics. Jokes are as numerous as the drops of rain pouring outside the window. They are playing poker.

All seems well, but none of them could be prepared for what happens next.

"You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of text. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the........" Your ship has just broken down. No, worries. On with the story.

As the game progresses, each player eases into his routine. Some fold, some raise, and some call, eager to see the next sequence of cards. The game is Texas Hold'em, but this is a place far from Texas.

One player in particular has his head shaved. Even so, there is a strange handsomeness about him. We'll call him Jeff (all names and descriptions have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent). The player to the right of Jeff is the chip leader. He has won a few big pots and is sitting comfortable behind a large stack of chips. We'll call him Benny.

Benny is a rock star who spends his time traveling the world spreading elation to those who hear his music. He is a busy man, stamping out evil-doers with his generous actions and spreading joy and happiness to those who lack it. He also spreads his CD wherever he can. It's only $12. Get it here. In his spare time, the little that he has, he plays poker.

Benny is not confident in the hand he has been dealt. As the bid comes to him, he glances at Jeff. Knowing he cannot win against such a professional player, Benny reluctantly folds. As he does, he leans back on his chair, confident in knowing he will lose no more money this turn. Play continues to Jeff. Jeff raises as only one-who-is-supremely-confident-and-good-looking would. But as he does so, a strange sound distracts him. The sound of wood cracking. It seems as if it is coming from right next to him.

In the next instant, everyone's attention is turned to where Benny is. Or where he should have been. All 5 other players watch in amazement as the chair underneath Benny crumbles under the weight that mistakenly is now only supported by 2 legs. The legs and seat break like twigs as a horrible snapping sound thunders through the air. Benny plants his feet down and jumps off the chair just as it gives way. All that is left is a pile of broken wood, a seat covering, and the back of the chair. Benny stands there in awe of what has just happened. Everyone else breaks out in hysterical laughter.

For the rest of the night, Benny is forced to sit on a metal swivel chair for fear of what further diasterous rampage he will cause.