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It has come to my attention that recently a friend has started the "phasing out" process. This happens when the person in question acquires a boyfriend or girlfriend and starts to spend increasing amounts of time with that person........to the detriment of their previous "I'm-bored-what-should-we-do" friends. At first it starts slow. Maybe they start arriving later than usual, or they stop calling. Eventually, they miss meetings altogether and start making excuses.

I, for one, am disgusted by this practice. You know what this says to me? That person was using his/her friends as "placeholder friends". These are people you hang out with until your girlfriend/boyfriend comes along. Once you get hooked up, you forego the other friendships and concentrate on your new-found relationship. How do you think this makes your "placeholder friends" feel? They are slowing being phased out of your life. Where once there was fledging camaraderie, now there is only a barren land of lost hope (as opposed to the lush, fertile, rich land of lost hope, but that's somewhere else). Once they had purpose--to make you forget you were alone in the world and that nobody loved you. Now they are just useless acquaintances you stepped on while you ran to your future spouse. Well, people, this has to stop!

Don't phase people out! Surgically extract them from your life. Just cut all communication with your friends. Don't make excuses. Tell them how it is. "I have a (girl|boy)friend now, and I'd rather spend this time with them. I'll call you when they're busy and I'm bored." At least this way your friends aren't clinging onto that one ray of hope that they will see you this week. This way they'll know how things stand and won't be _as_ disappointed when you don't show up for their birthday......again. It's like a bandaid you have to pull off. Do you want your friends to be the hairs that get pulled slowly? Do it in one quick motion! Hope is a very powerful thing. Crushing that hope week after week is just cruel (although usual) punishment. Don't do that to your friends. Even if they were just placeholders.