Gradumacation Day

hehehehehehehehehehehe. LAST DEGREE EVER!

To SWA: See? I don't hate dogs.

Since I live in the dorms, we're not allowed to have pets. This, however, has not stopped one of my friends. JW (a friend, not me. Really.) has been keeping a dog in her apartment since 2L year. Since periodically the staff have to come in and clean the windows/clean the carpet/replace filters, JW has to find somewhere to hide the dog on occasion. So this time, she asked me to dog-watch. Since I am a cat person, I said no. But Waffles (the dog) is really cute, so I changed my mind. All I would have to do is watch him for a few hours while JW is in class and the staff people clean her windows. EASY.


JW drops Waffles off in my room and leaves some toys for Waffles to play with. I watch him while I am reading for class. This all goes according to plan for the first hour. Read. Watch Waffles. Throw ball and train Waffles to bring it back to me. Go back to reading.

Suddenly, Waffles starts barking. I think maybe JW is approaching the door because whenever someone walks by, Waffles runs over to the door and stares at it. Suddenly, I hear a knock. Can she be back already? I look through the peep hole and see a stranger. Uh oh. I open the door a crack to see who it is. The guy is another student who lives down the hall and heard the barking as he was walking past.

stranger: "Do you have a dog in there?"
me: "Uh yeah. It's not mine though, I'm just watching it for a friend."
stranger: "I had to leave mine back in Oregon. How do you sneak it out to go to the bathroom?"
me: "Oh, well my friend just lays down these pads and the dog does his stuff on them."

As I am having this conversation, Waffles zooms out through the crack and takes off down the hall. I glance down to see what is happening and lunge forward to try to catch him before he makes his escape to freedom. I proceed to headbutt the stranger in the chin as I try to catch Waffles. The stranger steps back with a groan and I mutter an apology as I run by him and chase Waffles. After making sure he's ok, I proceed to chase Waffles.

Waffles is small. And fast. And likes freedom. I can't catch him. We end up having to surround him, me and the stranger. I scoop up Waffles and take him back into my room.

This is definitely the first time I've headbutted a complete stranger within the first minute of meeting him.

Study Day 2

A noise wakes me from my slumber. I briefly try to recall what it could be before my brain recognizes the familiar sound of my phone vibrating. It's my alarm. Why did I set it so early? Oh, I'm supposed to wake up and study. And go get a room before all the randoms take them. I debate whether I should go back to bed and put off studying til yet another time, or day, or week. It's Thursday. I only have 7 days until my first of two back-to-back exams. And I'm not ready. I decide to go back to bed.

And then I remember the FREE donuts. I jump out of bed and into the shower. While showering, I notice my nose is starting to run. Just barely. Swine Flu. Grrrrrrrreat. I decide I need more rest and more fluids. After getting dressed and throwing my study materials into my bag, I grab the half finished McD sweet tea sitting on my table and take a sip. Ahh. Energy. I walk outside and across the street to one of two law buildings. I quickly run down the list of floors I want to check and sort them in order of desirability. It's 8:30am, I think. They can't ALL be taken. After I get the FREE donuts, I remind myself.

I look into the Wachtell Lounge and see no sign of said FREE donuts. But I do see someone from my class looking at me through the window. I open the door and step inside, scanning the room for any evidence of donuts. Where are they? I briefly look at my friend and nod. He is about to look away, but at my sign of recognition turns back with a blank stare. That's when I get a good look at him. And realize......it isn't who I think it is. We both quickly break eye contact.

That's the problem with law school. As if there was only one. Finals has descended once again and that implies a number of things.

1) everyone is trying to learn what they should have been learning all semester in a matter of days.
2) people look even more disheveled than usual. probably because they slept in a classroom.
3) nobody has enough rest.
4) in my weakened, hungry, tired state, I can't recognize my friends.

After finding an open room, I set my stuff down, open my laptop and do a search. "donuts". They don't start until Friday.

Boo.

1 page summary i wrote for my friend who didn't want to read

Roe v Wade

Roe said to Wade, “yo, you look purty.” Wade said, “thanks.”
They hooked up.
Wade got preggers. Uh oh.
Wade goes to Roe and is like “dude, you a baby daddy.”
Roe says, “no way.”
Wade is sad. She cries.
Wade decides to get abortion.
Roe has epiphany and realizes if he has kid, instant multiplayer on 360 whenever he wants! Roooooooock baaaaaaaand.
Roe goes to tell Wade not to get abortion. Wade says, “too bad, yo. It’s my body and I’ll cry if I want to. And get an abortion too.”
Roe says, “no, I’ll sue you.”
Judge says “ok, you can get abortion. You a woman. Stop crying, I can’t take it.”

THE END

what i learn in law school

 

The problem with being a superhero is there are always people trying to steal your arc reactor. I got stabbed. Or some wild party goers spilled red wine on me. Twice.

I'm impressed that I was able to get the stain out though. I googled it and found some site that said mix hydrogen peroxide with dish washing liquid. I did it twice and let it soak in the sink overnight.

 

Dude, how awesome is that? I know. I'm so domesticated. But Tony Stark has to win Pepper Potts somehow, right?

freedom

And just like that, I'm a 2L.

how you know you've been studying too hard for finals

Yesterday, we were making roasted red potatoes for dinner. I cut the potatoes, chopped the garlic, and put them in a big zip lock bag with olive oil, rosemary and salt and pepper. I proceed to shake the bag. Then, I turn the bag upside down. And grab the top of the bag (the part without the zip lock). And shake.

The bag rips open and everything falls into the sink.

My friend just looks at me. "Why would you do that?"

I have no response except to burst out laughing.

------------
Family Feud.

Name an early video game.
MK types in "shoot duck with gun game".

Errr. Wrong answer.

tell me how to get, how to get to law school

(watching Wheel of Fortune)

AO: "She has $4500. That's nothing. After taxes, that's only like $2000."
MK: "Yeah, that's nothing, might as well give it back."
KL: "My dad was on Wheel of Fortune. It was back when he was 21."
me: "What? Did he win?"
KL: "Yeah, he won $450 in cash, and valuable prizes."
AO: "So basically....nothing."

Bonus round:

_ _ _ _ E     _ N _     _ _ R _
Clue: People

MK: "Bernie and Ert!"

Student Body

I think only the people who have been through law school will fully appreciate this quote, but the rest of you can use your imagination.

"There's not a lot of visual stimulation in law school."
--my Property professor, right before he shows a video in class

would you like red wine with that?

For Super Tuesday, I organized an election result viewing party for APALSA. It was a joint event between APALSA (Asian), BALSA (Black), and SALSA (South Asian). SALSA said they would bring wine since they didn't have money to contribute towards food. BALSA said they would order pizza and we said we'd split the cost with them. I arrive 30 min early to help set up and the BALSA guy runs in, says, "We don't have enough money for Thai food; I'm going to McDonald's" and runs back out.

20 min later he arrives with 30 cheeseburgers, 30 wraps, and 15 apple pies. This is the first time I've had McDonald's with red wine.

Such is the law student's life: an impoverished student life existing hand-in-hand with the fanciest things in life.

when it's REALLY hypothetical

"Let's suppose there are twenty top 10 law firms..."

--my civil procedure professor

what I learned in law school

I've been here for about a month and a half and this is what I've learned so far:

1) The red hand doesn't mean don't walk, it just means you have to dodge cars as you cross the street. It's like a difficulty setting on a video game. Hard or normal? Up to you.

2) When you checkout, sometimes a store will ask you if you want a bag or a handle. Always choose handle. If they have to ask, whatever you bought is too big to carry in a bag.

3) Downtown is not a location, it's a direction.

I've learned all these extremely valuable life lessons not from law school, but from the precious few hours I have to leave the law school. Which brings me to my last lesson.

4) Make it up. Get called on in class and didn't do the reading? Make up an answer. Get called on and did the reading but still don't know the answer? Make something up. Need to argue a point that you don't actually believe in? Who cares, just make something up. The profs have on more than one occasion told us they know we don't know the answer, they just want us to make it up as we go along.

I know you don't believe me. I bet you think I'm exaggerating. But it's true. Law school doesn't teach you about right or wrong. Law has nothing to do with right or wrong (shocking, I know). It's all about being able to persuade everyone else to believe you. In every single case we read about, it could go either way. It just depends on who the judges think are more persuasive, or which Supreme Court justice was able to persuade more of his peers to vote his/her way.

Seeing as how I'm a truth over happiness kind of guy and law school has nothing to do with truth, but a lot to do with happiness, I'm not sure how long I'll last.