To SWA: See? I don't hate dogs.

Since I live in the dorms, we're not allowed to have pets. This, however, has not stopped one of my friends. JW (a friend, not me. Really.) has been keeping a dog in her apartment since 2L year. Since periodically the staff have to come in and clean the windows/clean the carpet/replace filters, JW has to find somewhere to hide the dog on occasion. So this time, she asked me to dog-watch. Since I am a cat person, I said no. But Waffles (the dog) is really cute, so I changed my mind. All I would have to do is watch him for a few hours while JW is in class and the staff people clean her windows. EASY.


JW drops Waffles off in my room and leaves some toys for Waffles to play with. I watch him while I am reading for class. This all goes according to plan for the first hour. Read. Watch Waffles. Throw ball and train Waffles to bring it back to me. Go back to reading.

Suddenly, Waffles starts barking. I think maybe JW is approaching the door because whenever someone walks by, Waffles runs over to the door and stares at it. Suddenly, I hear a knock. Can she be back already? I look through the peep hole and see a stranger. Uh oh. I open the door a crack to see who it is. The guy is another student who lives down the hall and heard the barking as he was walking past.

stranger: "Do you have a dog in there?"
me: "Uh yeah. It's not mine though, I'm just watching it for a friend."
stranger: "I had to leave mine back in Oregon. How do you sneak it out to go to the bathroom?"
me: "Oh, well my friend just lays down these pads and the dog does his stuff on them."

As I am having this conversation, Waffles zooms out through the crack and takes off down the hall. I glance down to see what is happening and lunge forward to try to catch him before he makes his escape to freedom. I proceed to headbutt the stranger in the chin as I try to catch Waffles. The stranger steps back with a groan and I mutter an apology as I run by him and chase Waffles. After making sure he's ok, I proceed to chase Waffles.

Waffles is small. And fast. And likes freedom. I can't catch him. We end up having to surround him, me and the stranger. I scoop up Waffles and take him back into my room.

This is definitely the first time I've headbutted a complete stranger within the first minute of meeting him.

story of my life

(talking to my cousin's daughter about weather in LA vs weather in NY)

her: what's the temperature in NY?
me: 60. how hot is it over there?
her: 77.
me: WHAT? LUCKY!
her: you're just unlucky.

so true.

worst elevator ride ever

*ding*

The doors open to the slowest elevator imaginable. We step inside along with a few other people. After a few seconds, the doors still haven't closed. I reach for the "close door" button and hit it. *rrrring*

Oops. There is no close door button, and I've just hit the alarm button. The doors close and the elevator begins to ascend.

After a few seconds, I hear a barely audible voice saying something. I strain my ears and look up at the ceiling where it sounds like it's coming from. "Are you ok? Are you ok?" I realize it's the security person responding to the alarm being hit. "We're fine!" I yell. Since nobody else seemed to have heard the voice, my spontaneous outburst catches everyone by surprise.

*ding* The doors open onto our floor and I quickly step out to avoid any further embarrassment.

a superhero's job is never done

I was sitting in my office diligently working, when suddenly, TS, whose office is next to mine, walks in hysterical. She just broke the vending machine, she said. She wanted to buy a bag of chips, but when she punched in the code, the bag got stuck. So she tried to buy the same thing again, as any normal person would.

The second bag got stuck too.

So she tried to buy it a third time. Finally, all three bags fell to the bottom. But since they were stacked on top of each other, they were blocking the door and she couldn't reach in to get them.

After calming her down and giving her a box of tissues to wipe away her torrent of tears, I went to vending machine and got them out. Since the vending machine doesn't charge you unless the bag hits the bottom, she only had to pay for one and got three. She gave the other two to me.

Needless to say, I happily accepted the payment for my services.

ingenies

Last night my firm participated and sponsored a Lawyers for Literacy event. It was a spelling bee to raise money to help kids learn how to read. Our firm had 3 summer associates on our team. I was speller 3. All the 1's for all the teams go, then the 2's, then the 3's.

During round 1.

Host: "lexical."
DK, our speller 1: "l-e-x-y-c-l-e."
Eliminated.

During round 2.

Host: "inoculate."
TS, our speller 2: "i-n-n-o-c-u-l-a-t-e."
Eliminated.

It's all down to me. I noticed the trend of easy words at the beginning of each round, so I sat second. The first girl went up and the word was "ingenious." She spelled it, "i-n-g-e-n-i-u-s." I was thinking, yup, that's correct. Wrong, she got eliminated. I was so puzzled because I couldn't think of any other way to spell it. It was my turn.

Host: "ingenious."
me: "Can I have the definition?"
Host: some random words because I wasn't paying attention.
me: "i-n-g-e-n-i....."
(long pause. I knew "u-s" was wrong because that's how the girl spelled it. But that's the only way I could think of to spell it.)
me: "e-s."
Eliminated.

Our whole team got eliminated in our first rounds. And we were the biggest sponsor of the event. Awesome.

Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too

Blogging is hard work. I often think of stuff to post and then write a quick draft but never get around to actually publishing it. I probably have 20 or so posts that will always be in "draft" form and never get published.

Here's something I found in the Mozo archives. Back in 2004, I went to visit AWA and SWA in New Mexico. On the way back, I saw these signs that said "Do not pick up hitchhikers in this area. Prison facility." Grrrrrreat.

In other news, I'm going to be in a speeling bee on Wednesday. It'll be the furst tim sinse forth graid. Hupe I winn.

if it was roach powered, everyone would buy it

This is what I want for my birthday. And Christmas. And July 4.

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17372-gallery-domestic-robots-with-a-taste-for-flesh.html

Top Pot

I just went to 5 different Starbucks in a 2 block radius to look for donuts. If they're not preparing to take over the world, I dunno what they're doing. Just, please enlighten us on their plans after world domination.

Cylon Number Six

Previously, on our show:

#1,2,3 - debunked
#4 - debunked
return to #3 - debunked
#5 - debunked

Will there ever be a contestant that wins the look-a-like contest? Is this whole contest a scam? Will there ever be an end to people that want to look like me? What is the prize anyway? All this and more probably won't be revealed today.

In today's episode, we are going where we have never gone before. To the realm of animation. And outer space. And Disney.

Enough chit-chat. Let's cut to the chase. I submit for your perusal the following Exhibits:

  

Ok, where do I even begin?

1. Stitch is blue.
   
2. He's wearing a Santa hat. In APRIL. C'mon. Everyone knows I only bust out my Santa hat between Dec 1 and Dec 25. One of many codes I strictly adhere to.
   
3. He only has like 20 teeth. I have way more than that.
   
4. He has like 60 arms.
   
5. He KNOWS HOW TO FLY SPACESHIPS. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I do not know how, nor have I ever flown a spaceship. That's probably the next thing I'll go to school for.

This has once again been debunked. Plus, he just looks inebriated.

Credit goes to JJ for finding the pic of Stitch.

Hmm. Didn't realize RSS doesn't work when you restrict access until people told me. And Google Reader doesn't support private feeds at the moment. Reverting to public for now.

Study Day 2

A noise wakes me from my slumber. I briefly try to recall what it could be before my brain recognizes the familiar sound of my phone vibrating. It's my alarm. Why did I set it so early? Oh, I'm supposed to wake up and study. And go get a room before all the randoms take them. I debate whether I should go back to bed and put off studying til yet another time, or day, or week. It's Thursday. I only have 7 days until my first of two back-to-back exams. And I'm not ready. I decide to go back to bed.

And then I remember the FREE donuts. I jump out of bed and into the shower. While showering, I notice my nose is starting to run. Just barely. Swine Flu. Grrrrrrrreat. I decide I need more rest and more fluids. After getting dressed and throwing my study materials into my bag, I grab the half finished McD sweet tea sitting on my table and take a sip. Ahh. Energy. I walk outside and across the street to one of two law buildings. I quickly run down the list of floors I want to check and sort them in order of desirability. It's 8:30am, I think. They can't ALL be taken. After I get the FREE donuts, I remind myself.

I look into the Wachtell Lounge and see no sign of said FREE donuts. But I do see someone from my class looking at me through the window. I open the door and step inside, scanning the room for any evidence of donuts. Where are they? I briefly look at my friend and nod. He is about to look away, but at my sign of recognition turns back with a blank stare. That's when I get a good look at him. And realize......it isn't who I think it is. We both quickly break eye contact.

That's the problem with law school. As if there was only one. Finals has descended once again and that implies a number of things.

1) everyone is trying to learn what they should have been learning all semester in a matter of days.
2) people look even more disheveled than usual. probably because they slept in a classroom.
3) nobody has enough rest.
4) in my weakened, hungry, tired state, I can't recognize my friends.

After finding an open room, I set my stuff down, open my laptop and do a search. "donuts". They don't start until Friday.

Boo.

going dark

I have recently discovered exactly how little effort is required to find this blog. And that disturbs me. I want to feel free to bash on my future bosses, old bosses, ex-girlfriends, current girlfriends, stalkers, and pastors with impunity. I don't want them finding it. Therefore, later today, I will be making it private and denying all this blogging goodness to the public. If you are a regular commenter, or I am aware you read this blog, or I want desperately for you to start, I will add you to the list. Otherwise, just send me a message and I'll decide how much of a frenemy you really are.

That is all.

1 page summary i wrote for my friend who didn't want to read

Roe v Wade

Roe said to Wade, “yo, you look purty.” Wade said, “thanks.”
They hooked up.
Wade got preggers. Uh oh.
Wade goes to Roe and is like “dude, you a baby daddy.”
Roe says, “no way.”
Wade is sad. She cries.
Wade decides to get abortion.
Roe has epiphany and realizes if he has kid, instant multiplayer on 360 whenever he wants! Roooooooock baaaaaaaand.
Roe goes to tell Wade not to get abortion. Wade says, “too bad, yo. It’s my body and I’ll cry if I want to. And get an abortion too.”
Roe says, “no, I’ll sue you.”
Judge says “ok, you can get abortion. You a woman. Stop crying, I can’t take it.”

THE END

30 Rock

As we were walking back from the gym a few days ago, my friend hits me and tells me to back up. We go back to the store we just passed and peer inside. Alec Baldwin is standing in line to buy some stationary. He notices the two Asian guys staring through the doorway. My friend waves and he nods at us.

why God why?

The other day I was walking in the subway station and as I approached the platform, I noticed a woman crouching next to one of the pillars. Then I looked and noticed she didn't have pants on. And then I noticed the expanding pool of liquid next to her feet.

circle

Arrived late to a club where my friends were already inside. There is a long line outside of people trying to get in, but there is a separate line for girls. SL suggests I try to get in with 3 girls who just got in line. I ask them if they mind if I walk in with them and they hesitate, but say ok. After checking our coats, I offer to buy them drinks and they accept. While chatting, one of the girls offers me some mints, which I proceed to KNOCK ALL OVER THE FLOOR as I try to get one. She laughs and says it's ok because they were free. I think she was just trying to make me feel better.

we're getting closer...

After an extended hiatus, we return to our regularly scheduled lookalike update. I think we are up to #5. If you missed our previous coverage, be sure to catch up. #1,2,3, #4, and return to #3.

As always, I will be presenting evidence in the fairest possible manner so that you, dear reader, can come to your own conclusions.

This time we have a candidate who is on MTV's Bromance. Chris F.



At this point, I feel I must warn the readership against making any premature judgments. After being confronted with his good looks, I was also tempted to jump to the conclusion that this indeed _IS_ a Jeff lookalike. However, we must be vigilant. We cannot be swayed by his stunning handsomeness. We must keep this as unbiased as possible in order to uncover the truth.

Now, I present the control picture by which we must compare to.



As you can see, his skin tone is the exact tone and hue as my own. However, the similarities seem to stop there. Try as I might, I was not able to see in this picture one that resembled Chris'. It's just not there, folks. Some people may attempt to sway your opinion by pointing out various factors such as the luscious hair, the smoldering eyes or the broad shoulders. But trust me, I was there. If it doesn't fit, it just doesn't fit. After viewing both pictures side-by-side, I think it's safe to say the pictures are not even close. One even looks like it was doctored. Please, to whoever submitted this, at least put in a little effort, okay?

As before, this Jeff lookalike has been debunked.

grades

(while watching the Steelers/Ravens games, we see a fan holding something in the stands)



EL: "What's D plus plus plus plus?"

job description

guy: "What kind of law do you want to do?"
me: "IP Litigation."
guy: "like ip address? 'Hey! That's _my_ ip address! Give it back!'"

That actually sounds more interesting than what I'll actually be doing.

finals

Yes, I'm going to LA for Christmas break. No, I'm not from there; I'm originally from Ohio. Yes, my family is still back in Ohio. That is correct. I won't be spending Christmas with my parents and younger sister.

I already saw them over Thanksgiving though. It's all good.

Yes, I'm in the middle of finals. That's why I'm blogging instead of studying.

wwe

Went to restaurant on Saturday. Appetizer was burned. Sent it back. Entree was burned. Sent it back. Waiter argued with us, but finally took it back. Finished dinner. Paid the bill. Sat at table talking.

After about five minutes, the waiter comes back and taps me on the shoulder. "Excuse me, sir, I don't mean to bother you ...." (points to the total bill) "it's supposed to be 15%...."

I look at him. Then back to the check. Then back at him. "Yeah, 15% pre-tax."

He looks at the bill, recalculates it in his head, then says "Don't worry about it."

I won't.

ru guo ni yo addictions . . .

Last week, a group from my church went to help out at a soup kitchen. Shortly after arriving, I was asked if I was bilingual. I foolishly replied, "Yes, in Mandarin." Turns out, since it's close to Chinatown, a lot of the people that come only understand their native language and they need to translate everything from English into Spanish, Cantonese, and Mandarin.

The last time I spoke Mandarin was when I lived in Taiwan, back in 2004. At first, I frantically tried to find someone to replace me, but finally someone from church convinced me my Mandarin was probably good enough. He even wrote a cheat sheet for me for some of the words that he knew would be brought up like "health care", "unemployment", "social security", and "food stamps".

We all had to stand on the stage and translate everything the pastor said. At first it was just simple instructions, like "Welcome, eat as much as you like, don't take any food home, Jesus loves you, etc." Then he started praying. And then gave a 5 minute sermon.

At the end he reminded people that we could help them if they had any problems and needed someone to talk to. Obviously I didn't know how to translate every word, so I ended up saying things like "ru guo ni yo addictions, ...". (if you have any addictions)

Someone later pointed out that I got all the easy words right and basically left out all the important words. If I were translating into English, it would be like "if you have any ______ we can help you. Or if you have any questions about ______, just come to the ______. If you can't speak English we will be offering English ______ at 10:30. Go to that door."

Moral of the story - find out what they need translated before admitting you know another language.

family tree

KL: "One of my ancestors was on the Mayflower. He fell off the ship."
me: "I believe it."
KL: "Another ancestor was the pilot of the Hydenberg."
me: "This is not helping you."

subtle hints

(day after daylight savings)

KL: "What time is it?"
YS: "It's late. You need to go to bed."
KL: "You're right. It's 10:15. But that's really 11:15 according to my biological clock."
me: "You mean your internal clock?"

what i learn in law school

 

The problem with being a superhero is there are always people trying to steal your arc reactor. I got stabbed. Or some wild party goers spilled red wine on me. Twice.

I'm impressed that I was able to get the stain out though. I googled it and found some site that said mix hydrogen peroxide with dish washing liquid. I did it twice and let it soak in the sink overnight.

 

Dude, how awesome is that? I know. I'm so domesticated. But Tony Stark has to win Pepper Potts somehow, right?

McGreed

(at McDonald's: as my order comes out at the register, the person next in line turns to talk to me)

Lady: "Excuse me, do you play the game on the cup?"
(thinking) I'm not giving you my pieces, lady! Get your own!
Me: (smile) "Yes."

it's a stereotype cuz it's true

The other night, I joined nobu and his friends at a bar for dinner. There was this Marlboro girl who was giving away free USB drives. All you had to do was let her scan your ID and answer a survey. When asked, she said it was 2GB.

Apparently I smoke non-menthol Camels, which I buy by the pack. Everyone at our table signed up and got a free flash drive. We were the only Asian table at the bar.

The lady must've remembered us, because later she brought another Marlboro guy who was doing the same thing. Being Asian, and seeing an opportunity, we all signed up. Again. And got another flash drive. Apparently he didn't care that we had already signed up. He even filled out the survey for us.

After getting home, I plugged the drive into my computer.......and it was only 512MB. Lies! All that for only 1GB.

At least I have 2 buy-one-get-one-free Marlboro coupons.

Model T's bachelor party

I've never been to a bachelor party. Where there was a dress code. And an 8 course meal. And I had to wait one hour for a train on the way home. In the freezing cold. Until now.

 

We met a nun.

 

We missed the train by literally 30 seconds. The next train came one hour later.

as long as they wear pjs

Is it weird to let someone you don't know use your sleeping bag? I've never heard of anyone with this issue, but apparently some people think it's weird.

fortune to follow

I'm famous!! And international.

http://lamomparis.blogspot.com/2008/10/merci-cherie-et-jeff.html

for ages 26 and up

My friend KL:

Yale graduate.
Current student at NYU Law.
As a kid, sent two requests everyday (the maximum allowed) for free McDonald's Monopoly pieces. And used to dig through the trash to find more. All because she "really" wanted to win the $1,000,000.

The other day, we went to McD's and discovered that Monopoly was once again upon us. KL wanted a game board. So she took one.



Notice the instructions in the upper left hand corner.



This is the end result after KL "opened" the board.

Voltron

The new Macbook has two graphic chips. That automatically combine when more power is needed. To fight evil.

All my childhood dreams are coming true! I'm gonna live to see Voltron!

what to write for minority scholarship essays

Why do I get mistaken for a delivery boy any time I'm carrying food? This city is so racist.

Although to be fair, a Chinese guy thought I was the delivery person too. Racist Asians.

Hello, Dave

Tonight was the first time someone has ever prayed for me. Using the wrong name.

lunch break

A few days ago, I went to lunch with my fellow interns. We went to a lively food court with multiple street vendors. After we ate, JH got up and said he was going to buy some dried fruit. The rest of us finished our lunch and sat there talking, waiting for him to get back.

30 minutes pass.

me: "Where's JH?"
JD: "I think he went to buy dried fruit. But that was awhile ago."
me: "Did he go back to work?"
JW: "He didn't say he was leaving..."
me: "Ok, I'll go look for him."

I walk over to the dried fruit stand. He's not there. But right behind the stand is an older man singing a foreign folk song and hawking CDs. Standing next to him is JH, playing a Peruvian instrument.

prizes for introverts

Last week at work, we had our monthly staff meeting. At the end of the meeting, they raffled off some prizes (presumably to reward us for coming) and I won a prize.

I am the proud owner of ONE free admission to Six Flags Hurricane Harbor.

I'm gonna have so much fun by myself.

reading suggestions

(talking to a friend about a guy she likes, and why she thinks he doesn't like her)

JC: Have you read that book?
me: What book?
JC: "He's Just Not That Into You."
me: No, I have definitely not read that book.

Jesus Freak

94 Accord. Prelude engine. Roll cage. Tinted windows. Lowered. No A/C. No power steering. Speedometer works. On occasion.

Jesus Freak. Saved.

props to AC.

$1 for 32oz of pure goodness

None of the McD's in LA have sweet tea. I want to go back to NY.

Haha, yeah right.

freedom

And just like that, I'm a 2L.

how you know you've been studying too hard for finals

Yesterday, we were making roasted red potatoes for dinner. I cut the potatoes, chopped the garlic, and put them in a big zip lock bag with olive oil, rosemary and salt and pepper. I proceed to shake the bag. Then, I turn the bag upside down. And grab the top of the bag (the part without the zip lock). And shake.

The bag rips open and everything falls into the sink.

My friend just looks at me. "Why would you do that?"

I have no response except to burst out laughing.

------------
Family Feud.

Name an early video game.
MK types in "shoot duck with gun game".

Errr. Wrong answer.

why video games are educational

"i finally got my girlfriend to sleep with me
took a while
didn't help that i pressed the wrong button
and hit her"

--SL on playing GTA IV

what i do instead of study

Finals have once again descended on the law school. You know what that means. That's right, a frantic search for any and every reason to procrastinate.

A few days ago, two of my friends "discovered" online Family Feud. Since one of those friends is, shall we say, OBSESSED with the show, she played through all the questions available through the web only version. You would not believe how sad and depressed this made her.

Fortunately, there is a version you can download for your computer, albeit only limited to 1 hour. After downloading and installing the game, more Feud madness ensued. The offline version was more faithful to the actual show, with two teams and buzzers. However, at the end of the time limit, sadness and depression visited us once again. Someone reassured her that I would find a full version online (see why my compsci degree is so useful in law school? I mean my MD employment?) and renewed hope that we would Feud once again.

This brings us to yesterday, when I finally installed the game on her computer.

MK: "Does this version have unlimited questions?"
me: "Unlimited? It doesn't have an infinite number of questions...."
MK: "But I mean, isn't there someone out there in Internet land who can make questions and shoot them to my computer?"
me: ".....you mean, updates?"
MK: "yeah, yeah, updates, that's what I meant."

Alas, no, the game can't receive updates. But it does have 2000 questions, which made her happy.

While playing last night:

"Name something people do to avoid getting sun burned at the beach."
MK types in "stay away from the sun".

Err. Not on the board.

Happy Black Day

accidental gift exchange

A lot of blog worthy stuff happened over Christmas break, but I've just been too busy/lazy to post them. This will be the first in a series.

Last time on Mozo...(pay careful attention to Accidental purchase #2)

For MJ's small group Christmas party, they had a white elephant gift exchange. Instead of buying gifts, however, everyone had to bring something they already owned. MJ decided to bring the DVD of Signs that she "accidentally" bought and didn't want. At the gift exchange, nobody knew who brought what. MJ ended up with a highly coveted gift and it got stolen, so she could either steal someone else's gift or pick an unopened one. Everyone tried to convince her to steal their gift, including the person who ended up with MJ's gift, the Signs DVD. MJ said, "No, I actually brought that DVD, so I don't want that." But as she glanced at the DVD, she noticed it said "The Village" on the cover instead of Signs. Realizing she wrapped the wrong DVD, she stole it back and ended up leaving the party with her own gift.

tell me how to get, how to get to law school

(watching Wheel of Fortune)

AO: "She has $4500. That's nothing. After taxes, that's only like $2000."
MK: "Yeah, that's nothing, might as well give it back."
KL: "My dad was on Wheel of Fortune. It was back when he was 21."
me: "What? Did he win?"
KL: "Yeah, he won $450 in cash, and valuable prizes."
AO: "So basically....nothing."

Bonus round:

_ _ _ _ E     _ N _     _ _ R _
Clue: People

MK: "Bernie and Ert!"

Student Body

I think only the people who have been through law school will fully appreciate this quote, but the rest of you can use your imagination.

"There's not a lot of visual stimulation in law school."
--my Property professor, right before he shows a video in class

would you like red wine with that?

For Super Tuesday, I organized an election result viewing party for APALSA. It was a joint event between APALSA (Asian), BALSA (Black), and SALSA (South Asian). SALSA said they would bring wine since they didn't have money to contribute towards food. BALSA said they would order pizza and we said we'd split the cost with them. I arrive 30 min early to help set up and the BALSA guy runs in, says, "We don't have enough money for Thai food; I'm going to McDonald's" and runs back out.

20 min later he arrives with 30 cheeseburgers, 30 wraps, and 15 apple pies. This is the first time I've had McDonald's with red wine.

Such is the law student's life: an impoverished student life existing hand-in-hand with the fanciest things in life.

first semester

I'm almost 1/6 of the way done with my J.D. After cramming for finals for almost a week, these are the valuable lessons I've learned:

If you can buy 4 piece chicken Mcnuggets for $1.50 and a 10 piece costs $4.29, it's cheaper to buy the 8 nuggets to get more for your money or buy 12 for only $0.20 more.

Two small fries for $1.00/ea gives your more than the medium fries for $1.99. The real question though, is if the large fries are 15% more than 4 small fries, b/c the large costs $4.29.

These are the lessons that will direct my choices for the rest of my life. Wow, good thing I went to a great university.

offering plates v offering bags

The worst designed offering baskets are the shallow ones with no handles. Why is this the worst design? It makes it easier to drop when you're passing it. And when you drop it, all the money falls out.

Contrast this with the offering bag with 2 handles. Easy to pass, check. Money doesn't fall out when you drop it, check.

Reedemer has obviously chosen poorly when buying offering baskets. And the poorness of the decision was revealed when my friend was passing the basket along to my other friend.....and they dropped it. The basket flipped over, spilling cash and envelopes onto the floor. After a moment of shock, they started picking up all the money and passed the basket along. I'm surprised none of us were frisked when we left at the end of the sermon.

We were contemplating that the only thing worse would be if you dropped the communion blood/juice when it's being passed around. Embarrassing, AND you're preventing others from taking communion.

red mango v pinkberry

They opened up a Red Mango _directly_ across the street from the Pinkberry. Since today was their grand opening, they gave away free small yogurts with 1 topping.

Verdict: the yogurt tastes better than Pinkberry. It's less sour and tastes creamier. Cost is the same. They have more choices of cereal toppings.

All in all, the difference all comes down to personal preference. It was the only time I've ever seen an open Pinkberry without any customers.

Too bad we didn't get there earlier, too, cuz we could have got free $25 gift certificates.

pointless post

gmail lets you sign onto aim now.

You know you're cramming for finals when SOL means statute of limitations.

frolicking in the snow

Since I'm trying to maximize my study time for the next few weeks, I decided to goto Redeemer this morning, which has a shorter service than Vision. As we walked outside, there was a blanket of snow on the ground. This is the first time it has snowed since I moved to New York. At first I was dreading going out in the cold, but since one of my friends was excited, I had to admit it was kinda cool to see snow covered roofs and white powder on the ground. It's been a few years since I've been able to witness the first snow of winter.

After service, it was snowing, so we strolled through Central Park. A different friend said it was like walking through Narnia. We grabbed brunch and then headed back to school. This is when I started to notice the brown slush on the streets. And the huge puddles at every intersection. When we got back on the subway, I noticed the bottom edge of my pants were soaked.

This summarizes New York for me. In theory, it sounds cool. Even at first, you're excited and impressed, but then you start to see all the crappy little details and you start thinking maybe it's not as great as you thought it would be. NY is turning me into a pessimist.

overheard at my church

"Since we were the only two white people there, we eventually got introduced." --Asian girl giving testimony about time in Africa

"For 60 sec, time stood still." --Pastor

when it's REALLY hypothetical

"Let's suppose there are twenty top 10 law firms..."

--my civil procedure professor

wait, i know you, right?

Tonight, we met up with some med students at NYU. After dinner, we went to get dessert at Crumbs, a cupcake place. After we ordered, we sat down at a couple tables in the back of the store. We're all chatting and having a good time. There were still 2 guys and a girl in line. After a few minutes, they sat down, but they didn't order anything. They said they're still deciding what to get. The two guys get up and said they're ready to order. 10 minutes pass. Then they come back to the table with a cake and some candles stuck in it and start singing happy birthday to the girl. We just go with it and join in the singing. We assume the girl's birthday was either today or recently passed or will come up soon. After we're done singing and she blows out the candles, and all the applause dies down, she asks the guys if they're serious. They reply, yeah, what does she mean? She says her birthday is in JULY.

Mass confusion ensues.

Apparently the two guys thought the girl's birthday was today. They obviously were wrong.

How well do you know _your_ friends?

targeting the over 55 crowd

Stan: mom's on facebook
me: hahahh
me: how'd that happen
Stan: no idea

First gchat and now Facebook? It's official. My mom's cooler than all of you who aren't on Facebook. And the world is about to end.

what I learned in law school

I've been here for about a month and a half and this is what I've learned so far:

1) The red hand doesn't mean don't walk, it just means you have to dodge cars as you cross the street. It's like a difficulty setting on a video game. Hard or normal? Up to you.

2) When you checkout, sometimes a store will ask you if you want a bag or a handle. Always choose handle. If they have to ask, whatever you bought is too big to carry in a bag.

3) Downtown is not a location, it's a direction.

I've learned all these extremely valuable life lessons not from law school, but from the precious few hours I have to leave the law school. Which brings me to my last lesson.

4) Make it up. Get called on in class and didn't do the reading? Make up an answer. Get called on and did the reading but still don't know the answer? Make something up. Need to argue a point that you don't actually believe in? Who cares, just make something up. The profs have on more than one occasion told us they know we don't know the answer, they just want us to make it up as we go along.

I know you don't believe me. I bet you think I'm exaggerating. But it's true. Law school doesn't teach you about right or wrong. Law has nothing to do with right or wrong (shocking, I know). It's all about being able to persuade everyone else to believe you. In every single case we read about, it could go either way. It just depends on who the judges think are more persuasive, or which Supreme Court justice was able to persuade more of his peers to vote his/her way.

Seeing as how I'm a truth over happiness kind of guy and law school has nothing to do with truth, but a lot to do with happiness, I'm not sure how long I'll last.

chinatown v greyhound

I went to visit my brother and his wife in Boston this past weekend. For the longest time before leaving on this trip, I debated on whether to take the Chinatown bus, or the Greyhound.

	Chinatown Bus	Greyhound
Pros	cheap, fast (due to reckless speeds), flexible (there's a bus every hour, so you can just show up and buy a ticket)	You will probably survive the trip
Cons	tendency to flip over or catch on fire	more expensive ($25 v $15 one way)

I was traveling with MY, who is my sister-in-law's cousin, who usually takes the Chinatown bus. Even though she said "it's up to you", I knew what that really meant. I've had enough female friends to translate the words that come out of a girl's mouth. Last Friday, I got on the Chinatown bus.

The ride up there went without incident. Unless you count the person sitting in front of me who kept turning around to stare at us for who knows what reason. Because we were talking? Maybe if he wanted a silent ride he shouldn't have boarded a bus leaving from Chinatown.

On the way back, everything was going fine until all of a sudden, the person sitting directly across the aisle from us pulled out his DVD player. And hit play. With no headphones. And turned up the volume. I couldn't really tell what he was watching, I think it was some Chinese fashion show or something. But everyone on the bus could hear it. And everyone was pissed. He didn't get the hint when people started to give him dirty looks and pull out earplugs. Someone even asked him politely to turn the volume down. Eventually the person next to him offered to lend him a pair of headphones which amazingly he accepted.

While all this was going on, I was shocked at what was going on. Given, I'm an ABC, so I'm used to straddling two different cultures, but what would possess a person to do that? Usually I chalk it up to cultural differences. For example, people in Asia usually live in close proximity to each other (at least in the cities). So they can be forgiven if they crowd your personal space when they talk to you. I understand that. But playing a DVD out loud on a bus? If that's what everyone did in Asia, nobody would be able to hear anything! If the norm was everyone watched a movie on their portable DVD player while on bus rides, then everyone should have headphones, otherwise all the sound would mix together. Have you ever tried watching a movie while someone was talking to you? I have. The operative word here is "tried". So it just boggles the mind that someone would assume everyone would want to listen to his movie and he would lack the foresight to bring headphones.

(BTW, everything in law school is "somebody v somebody else". Thus, the title to this post. Yes, law school is making me less funny. Sad.)

27 million

Trade, a movie based on the article The Girls Next Door by Peter Landesman, opens this weekend.

Tonight, I heard Jin Chung, the Director of Intern and Fellows Progams at IJM, talk about human trafficking.

Slavery?? Sex trafficking?? There is an estimated 27 million slaves in the world today, which is MORE than the 10-12 million Africans shipped to the Americas back in the 16-19th centuries. WHAT?!

We gotta do something about this.

International Justice Mission

moon cake?

Happy Zhong Qiu Jie! (Mid-Autumn Moon Festival)

Unless you're sitting in the library during your 1L year, I guarantee you are having more fun than I am.

I probably won't get to eat any mooncake until this weekend, although I'm supposed to eat fried chicken tonight to celebrate Chuseok (the Korean version of this holiday).

nyers nicer than midwesterners?

BH and I were sitting in Fairway Market Cafe, waiting for SL. Out of the blue, the two ladies next to us leaned over and asked "We have half a bottle of Pinot Noir that we can't finish. Do you want it?"

I've never been given free wine by a random stranger before. Maybe NY isn't so bad after all.

reminder: i left LA for this

wake up.
go to class.
find food.
go to class.
take a nap.
find more food.
go to library.
study.
get kicked out of library because it's closing.
go to dorm.
study.
sleep.
repeat.

sigh

what i've been up to

Studying. And more studying. Oh yeah, I almost forgot.....studying.

Last night marked the end of my first week of classes. I slept 12+ hours.

Last night, I ate dinner with nobu and then we went to k-town (or k-street) for norebang (karaoke). To kill some time, we went into a Korean supermarket where I decided it would be a good idea to buy some frozen food even though I don't have any way to heat it up. At any rate, since neither of us read Korean or are well versed in the intricacies of distinguishing good Korean dumplings from bad ones, we resorted to The Wisdom of Crowds method (i.e. asking random Korean people which dumplings were good, analyzing the results and then purchasing each package to taste test and see if they were right). Actually, we just asked a few people and then I bought two of the suggested packages. But I have full faith that their recommendations are better than anything I could have decided on my own. And no, I didn't sing. I was too tired and went home. Remember the 12+ hours of sleep?

Tonight, I ate dinner with MY and ST, who took me to a Taiwanese place in Chinatown. We got there at 8:37pm. They closed at 9pm. At about 9:10, they started turning off the lights and the other people in the restaurant paid their bill and left. At around 9:15pm, we were the only ones still eating, every other chair had already been stacked on the tables and the floor had been mopped. Yeah, they're not subtle about wanting to go home. Nevertheless, we trudged forward and didn't leave until we had finished. Actually, they were very nice to us and told us to come back tomorrow.

Afterwards, we tried a new tea shop that opened up and got some boba. Since it was a new store, we chatted with the owner and the employees for a while before we left. Then we walked to ST's car, which took another 5 minutes. Only after getting in the car, did MY realize something was wrong.

"Hey, wait a minute! They didn't give me any boba! You heard me order right? I said I wanted boba! They asked if I wanted boba and I said yes!"

After this tirade, MY insisted on getting the boba she rightly deserved, so we swung back to the shop. She asked for the boba, and the employees, eager to please a new customer, quickly obliged, even asking if she wanted more ice. MY walked out with a new cup filled with tea, ice and boba. Moral of the story: finish drinking your tea before you go back and tell a new store they made a mistake so they will refill your drink. Thanks for the life lesson, MY.

Orientation day 1

6AM: arrived at JFK
took a taxi to nobu's apartment.
6:45AM: arrived at nobu's apartment.
6:55AM: nobu turns on his cell phone and lets me in.

After taking a three hour nap on nobu's couch, ST picks me up and helps me move into my dorm. After spending all of 20 min moving (I only had 6 boxes), we decide to go shopping and eat some lunch. The schedule says I don't have to be back until 2pm, so I figure we have some time. Time: 12:30PM

After buying some necessities, we start eating at 1:20PM. No problem I think. I'll just miss some introductory speeches. By the time I get back to my dorm, it's 2:10PM. I look up where we're supposed to meet and ask directions. Which turn out to be wrong. After finding the right place, I look at my phone. 2:30PM. Not bad, I'm sure the speeches are long I think. As I enter the building, I see everyone streaming out of the auditorium wearing t-shirts with their assigned section on them. OH CRAP. It's already over. I find an official looking person and ask what I should do if I had just arrived. They hurry to look up my section and tell me my group has already left. So they just randomly throw me into another group. Grrreeat. First day and I'm already late.

It turns out it wasn't a big deal as all we did today was a city wide scavenger hunt. Since I took a red eye last night and moved in today, I was thoroughly exhausted. They threw us a party at night with free food and alcohol which some people took way too big an advantage of.

While waiting for the shuttle to take us back to the dorms, we see a guy. This guy is TDTS (too drunk to stand). The first time I see him, he is leaning on a girl. The girl is obviously supporting him as he is TDTS. Eventually, the girl gets tired (as one does when supporting someone larger than you) and hands him over to another guy. Somehow in the course of this happening, TDTS guy ends up on the ground. So he just lays on the ground. For like 10 minutes. Eventually they try to pick him up so he can lean against the wall. Apparently TDTS guy doesn't like that and begins to puke. Then he starts running down the sidewalk, but since he is TDTS, he is also TDTR. SMACK. His face hits the concrete. Somehow he is ok. The bus arrives and they somehow drag him on. THUNK. That is the sound of his head hitting the window and he slides into his seat. And then he pukes again. As soon as the bus arrives at our dorm, his 'friends' pull him off and he pukes AGAIN. And then stumbles and falls into his own vomit. Wonderful. NYU sure knows how to pick winners.

arrived

In NY! Moving in to NYU. That is all.

B3

We went to the Jurong Bird Park today. Let it be known that the park stinks. Having a whole park dedicated to birds does not make the odors that waft into your nose very pleasant. In fact, they are the opposite of pleasant. They are anti-pleasant.

The only cool part of the park is the Lory Loft where you can feed lories. I have pictures, but I currently have no where to post them. Just picture small parrots that look like the Viewsonic birds. But hundreds of them. All flying around in a huge enclosed building and willing to climb onto your arm/hand/head/body if you feed them this nectar thing. Pretty cool.

A very not cool part of the park is the restaurant near the main entrance. Specifically the bathroom. It is not cool if you walk into the bathroom, and there is a little boy in front of you, who, upon entering the bathroom, pulls down his pants as he walks to the urinal. Since you are behind him, you get front row seats to his bare butt. Not cool. Very not cool, Bare Butt Boy.

the most humid place on earth

The most humid place on Earth is not Singapore. But you could've fooled me.

It's unbearable to go outside. It's almost as bad as Taiwan in the summer. Bringing a drink with you wherever you go is a life saving procedure.

They make you pay to use the bathroom?? I had to pay S$0.10 today to use the bathroom at a food court.

Tonight was spent wandering around for over an hour trying to find a church service. The directions on the website were very unclear and we had to resort to asking about 3 different people before we finally found the right location. We didn't even bother going in since we were so late.

Sorry for the disjointed post. It's very tiring when you need to completely rehydrate your body every 5 minutes.

All I gotta say is, South Africa better not be this humid.

in the last days...

This is was my first job which I actually had to desk to clean up.

I'm officially unemployed! Besides being a full time comp-sci-geek-turned-future-lawyer-maybe, I mean. And that's hard work, believe you me.

Goodbye lunch-crew: BH, HW, MS, DS, IK

cross country

I feel wholly unprepared to move.

Goodbye LA. Hello NY.

GTA: Los Angeles

Oh crap. My car lost its powers!!

Monday, May 14, 8:15pm: park my car on the street in front of my apartment.

Tuesday, May 15, 11:00am: come outside and either my car turned into an old silver Toyota Camry, or it got stolen.

Yup, someone stole my car. Booooo.

posted pics from Sandy and Tony's Wedding.

posted pictures from the Rose Hills visit after Esther's wedding.

Rose Hills

Yes, Just, I finally put up pictures from Esther's wedding.

Esther and Andy's Wedding

how to get someone to guess Tow Mater

(GC, age 5, at his sister's birthday party)

GC: "Uncle Jeff, guess what's on my underwear!"
me: "Uh...."
GC: "I'll give you a clue. It's brown."
me: "It's brown??"
GC: "Yup. Ok I'll give you another clue. It's old."
me: "It's old and brown? This doesn't sound good..."

ingenuity......or desperation

Tip of the day:

If you work at a tech company and you have a bottle of Orangina you can't open, use an ethernet cable. Wrap it around the cap and use it for better grip. Works wonders.

 

They sent me my nametag I have to wear to all my classes.

I love you too, Dad

A few weeks ago, my Dad was in town to attend a funeral in SD. I decided to drive down after work on Thursday to meet him for dinner. Braving the worst traffic known to man, I made what should have been a 2 hr trip in 4 months. After arriving, I asked what he wanted to eat and he replied he didn't have any preferences. I had asked a few of my friends familiar with SD what good restaurants were around there and we decided to go to an all-you-can-eat sushi place (Tadashi in La Jolla). Since it was getting late, we called the restaurant to make sure we would have time to eat before they closed. They were going to close in a little over an hour, so we left the hotel and headed over.

Upon arriving, we were seated at a table and informed the waitress we wanted the buffet. She asked us to move to the sushi bar and politely mentioned that if there were any leftover pieces, we would be charged for it. We sat down and my Dad started filling out the sushi sheet. I looked over as he wrote a bunch of 4s and 2s.

me: "4 orders of all this? Are you sure?"
dad: "Yeah, 2 for you, and 2 for me."
me: "okaaaay...."

Shortly thereafter, we were presented with a large plate full of sushi. Since it was late, we were both pretty hungry and finished it off quickly. I asked if he was still hungry and wanted to order more.

dad: "I'm not hungry, but if you want to order some more, I can eat it."

Being the bottomless pit people think I am, I suggested just ordering a little bit more. However, when we informed the cook that we would like to order more, he replied, "You still have more coming. You have a lot more coming."

Oh, ok. We sat patiently and were served yet another large plate full of sushi. Plus 2 small plates. Full of sushi. As they placed the plates in front of us, I realized, "We are not going to be able to finish this." But I said nothing. I knew my Dad realized this as well. But being the proud Chinese father that he is, he would never admit defeat.

We dug in and soon were completely full. And there was still a ton of sushi left. In my effort to take a break, I tried making some conversation. My Dad's reply:

me: "How're Mom and Mei doing?"
dad: "I'll tell you later. We have to finish our dinner first. We don't have enough time."

So we spent the rest of the meal in silence, slowly but steadily stuffing the last remaining pieces of sushi into our mouths. Soon, my dad announced that he was done. Which meant I had to eat the rest of the meal. Bite. Chew. Swallow. Suppress urge to throw up. Repeat.

I don't think I've ever eaten so much sushi in my life.

(Nah, who am I kidding, I probably have. Lots of times.)

I managed to finish all but 3 pieces. As we hurridly left the restaurant, hoping they wouldn't charge us extra, I couldn't help but laugh at what had just happened. I felt like this was something I would do with my friends while in college, not with my Dad when I was 25.

Good times, Dad, good times.

Paradise Day 6

As far as I'm concerned, this day never happened. I'm still in Hawaii. I'm still in paradise. I'm relaxed. Don't bother me.

Paradise Day 5

Day 5: outlet day. We woke up, got some Mitsu-ken (which has awesome garlic chicken) on the way, and went to the outlets. If you look at the pictures, it may appear to you, dear reader, that I bought a lot of clothes, and it may also occur to you that this is a ridiculous proposition. One guy outspending two girls? Unthinkable.

This about it this way. I was gonna get dragged to the outlets anyway. I might as well do all my shopping at once rather than having to endure this unpleasant experience again in a few months. It's like going to the dentist. If you're going to be dragged to the dentist's office anyway, might as well get your teeth cleaned.

After getting our teeth pulled, we stopped by Wailoa Shave Ice, where the ice was once again super soft. I think the water in Hawaii is better. Either that or everything tastes better when you're in paradise. We also stopped by Zippy's for some last minute chili before MJ decided to make us hike Diamond Head.

I almost died.

That's right, I had a near death experience in Hawaii. The only other time I almost died is when my appendix ruptured, but that was nothing compared to climbing the Stairs of Death^TM.

We got to Diamond Head about an hour before the parking lot closed, so they asked us if we could make it back before they locked our car in. We said, "Sure," and we headed off. At the beginning, it's just dirt trails and a couple switch backs; nothing too difficult. That's how they get you. After you've already hiked more than halfway up, you turn a corner and are presented with the most horrifying sight known to man. It must have been 1 million steps. At least. I told SS and MJ that if I didn't make it, to tell my family I loved them. Somehow God granted me superhuman endurance and I actually made it up to the top. The view at the top of Diamond Head is amazing. It totally makes it worth it (I'm pretty sure.....yeah, I guess it's worth it).

After we came back down, SS wanted to goto Costco to buy some souvenirs. Always thinking of others, that one. It's a good thing she's so selfless, because it led directly to the purchase of the most amazing machine on earth. That's right. I bought a Wii. MJ did too. And there was much rejoicing.

The rest of the night was a blur. I honestly don't know what happened between buying the Wii and falling asleep with a stupid grin on my face.

Hawaii Day 5 pics

Paradise Day 4

Sorry for the delay. We are experiencing a phenomenon known as 'laziness'. Please bear with us while we work to rectify the situation. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Day 4 was Sunday. Sunday is the-day-to-go-to-church-
even-though-we-shouldn't-be-just-Sunday-Christians-
and-really-church-means-the-people-not-a-building. So we went to church.

MJ and SS found a church called New Hope Fellowship. When we got there, I detoured to the bathroom while they went ahead. After using the facilities, I walked into the sanctuary where I was promptly hugged. By a man. I thought, "Oh, that's interesting. Maybe that guy is just really friendly." Then I got hugged again. By another man. This changed my hypothesis to "They must hug all the newcomers." But, after church, I asked MJ and SS if anyone hugged them when they walked in, and they said no. Do I just look particularly huggable? What's going on? Please, if any of you see me walking on the street, don't hug me. Reference this post.

After church, (where the sermon was a video feed from the main church, cuz we were at a satellite church) we went to Pearl Harbor. The memorial is a white structure built on top of the remains of the U.S.S. Arizona. It's very somber inside. We also had the option of paying to tour the U.S.S. Missouri, which did not sink, but being the Asians that we are, we opted for just the free ferry trip to the Arizona.

After Pearl Harbor, SS and I were still lamenting the previous day's failed attempt to locate and consume garlic shrimp. So we decided we would make a second attempt, but this time drive the opposite direction, so if we still couldn't find the Mystical Blue Shrimp Truck of Awesomeness, we could just stop at Giovanni's.

To make a long story short, the weather turned bad, MJ felt sick, and we couldn't find the MBSTA so SS and I just ate at Giovanni's. It doesn't matter that there were flies constantly buzzing around or that there were stray cats roaming the picnic tables where we ate. It was the best shrimp we've ever had. The fact that we were sucking on the shells speaks volumes.

Hawaii Day 4 pics

Paradise Day 3

This was our North Shore Day.

We woke up, and drove through the middle of the island towards the North Shore.

On the way, we stopped at the Dole plantation. Imagine a store surrounded by pineapples. Now imagine that store is filled with pineapples and pineapple-produced food. And pineapple related merchandise. And it has a yellow interior. You have just imagined the Dole plantation. The ice cream was very good though. After we strolled through the building, we decided to do the Pineapple Garden Maze. The conversation went something like this:

me: "Do you guys want to do the maze?"
(at the same time) MJ: "No." SS: "Yes."
MJ: "I mean, yes."

From that unanimous decision sprang forth our quest through the garden maze. The goal of the maze is to find 6 locations where there are stencils you have to trace onto a card. After you have found all 6, you come back to the start. They time you and if your time is one of the fastest 5 times, you get a poster. The 5th place time was 15 minutes, so we tried to beat that. At the beginning, we split up to try to find the 6 stencils faster and then were going to copy the stencils onto one card. After the girls found 4, and I found 2, we met up and were going to trace the cards. But SS didn't want to cheat so I showed them where the last 2 stencils they needed were. In the end, we made it out in 18 minutes. But SS kept her morals. I guess it's good that SS is the teacher and the two cheaters are an attorney and a software developer who pretends to fight piracy.

From there, we headed to Matsumoto's shave ice. It's basically a snow cone (with really soft ice) that you can get with ice cream or red bean or both. You can pick the syrup flavors and add condensed milk if you want. There was even a Caucasian lady that hesitantly ordered "red bean?" From her confused look, we knew there was no way she thought putting beans in ice would make anything remotely close to a good tasting dessert, but MJ assured her the beans were sweet and she had made the right choice. Way to spread the Asian culture, MJ.

As we resumed our drive to the North shore. We noticed some shrimp trucks and this ignited a debate whether we had passed the Mystical Blue Shrimp Truck of Awesomeness.

(The origin of the Mystical Blue Shrimp Truck of Awesomeness goes something like this: Before we left for Hawaii, JL/EL recommended we eat garlic shrimp from the roach coach shrimp trucks on the side of the road. All the trucks were located along the side of the freeway on the North shore. The most famous amoung tourists is Giovanni's, a white truck, but JL told us about a better truck which was blue.)

After much discussion and driving back and forth, we called up JL and asked him if we were in the correct place. Alas, we were not. We would not get to the Mystical Blue Shrimp Truck of Awesomeness until we were on the way back to the hotel.

We kept driving and came upon Waimea Beach. The waves were huge so we decide to go rent some boogie boards. After getting destroyed by the waves for most of the afternoon, we headed out and saw a surfing competition sponsored by Monster. Then we commenced Operation: Shrimp Truck. We drove along the coast on the way back to the hotel, keeping our eyes peeled for the Mystical Blue Shrimp Truck of Awesomeness. We passed Giovani's and knew we were on the right track. We looked. And looked. We called JL. And looked. But, we couldn't find it and ended up back at the hotel. SS and I were very sad. Since we couldn't find it, we just decided to eat at Willows, a buffet.

Since I didn't know they had self-parking, I pulled into their valet lot. Then we rushed inside because they were about to close and ate hurriedly. Then we got our bill. $30/person. The buffet was definitely not THAT good. All in all, a subpar experience. Especially since the next day, MJ got food poisoning.

Hawaii Day 3 pics

meal-in-a-pill

This morning, I had an epiphany. You know how futurists are always telling us that one day we will have a pill that will give us all the nutrients we need? It's never gonna work.

Have you ever heard of someone complaining about eating? "Crap! Again? I just ate a few hours ago!!! Why do I feel hungry again? Stupid body! I wish I didn't have to eat!!" No. Instead, we have throngs of people that throng to upscale restaurants to pay 3x's the price for an animal or plant that is prepared in a specific way so that those little bumps on our tongues will send out signals to our brains. People are paying MORE for food that TASTES better. Not for healthier food. If anything, the food at these places are probably worse for you.

So no, nobody in the future will voluntarily eat a meal-in-a-pill. Given the choice, which would you rather eat? A steak or a pill? Exactly. The only thing I can envision it being used for is military, space, or poverty reasons.

You know what would be cool though? If they made meal-in-a-pills with different flavors.

Paradise Day 2

Day 2 is what I want to call Snorkeling Day. But I can't. Due to some unfortunate decisions, I am forced to call it The Day the Coral Got Angry.

We woke up, checked the weather, and went to McDonald's for breakfast. Spam and Portuguese sausage in the morning hits the spot. We had to ask for the saimin, because it wasn't on the menu.

After breakfast, we headed out to Hanauma Bay, where we would go snorkeling. Upon arrival, we were ushered into a briefing room where they showed us an instructional video about snorkeling. During this video, they pound into your head Rule #1. Rule #1 is "Look, but don't touch." Apparently, touching coral causes death. And death is not good for coral. Who knew?

After walking down to the bay and renting our equipment under the watchful eyes of a few stray roosters, we settled on the beach and put on our equipment. If you look at the pics of the bay, you will see clear areas where there isn't much coral. For our initial foray, we wisely chose to swim in a clear area. We enjoyed it very much. Nobody got hurt. We enjoyed it very much. We saw lots of fish. We enjoyed it very much.

After snorkeling for a while, we went back to the beach and rested. This is where the story turns ugly. Parents, you may wish to cover the eyes of your children at this point.

After we felt restful from having rested for the rest of the resting time, we decided to go back into the water and snorkel a bit more. Because we had risen early, (in Hawaii, God grants me special powers that allow me to wake up before 10AM) when we arrived at the bay, it was relatively empty. By now, the afternoon, more people had come and were snorkeling in the middle area. We decided to snorkel towards the right, where there were barely any snorkelers. For good reason, we would soon discover.

Very much unlike the clear areas, the right side is full of coral. There was barely enough water to swim over the coral without touching it. We figured we were just in a bad area, so we looked for a clear area and headed toward it. After getting there, we were stuck. The waves started to push us into the coral and we started to look for a way back. On the way back, we saw a turtle (it was huge, but sleeping) and took a photo (which I will upload when we scan them in), but the tide must have gone down. We got stranded on coral that was above water and had to literally crawl over the coral to get back to shore. That's where we took the "after" picture and assessed our losses. Coral: 1 Humans: 0.

After leaving Hanauma Bay, we drove to the east side of the island, to Kailua Beach. We stopped on the way for chili at Zippy's, took a few pictures at a scenic spot, and arrived at the beach. The Beach. The sand was soft, fine, and white, (kinda like my dream girl, but the sand didn't speak Mandarin) and the water was so clear. It was definitely the beach that all other beaches in Hawaii should strive to become. We swam there for a bit, drove back to town where we got slush floats, then went back to the hotel to shower. We decided to splurge for dinner and went to a high-end steak place. We were so underdressed, they put us in the back corner next to the kitchen. You would think this happens to me fairly often, but surprisingly it doesn't. (it must be because I usually go out with well dressed friends) After dinner, we went back to the hotel and actively participated in MJ's plan-for-tomorrow party (see pics).

Hawaii Day 2 pics

Try using your arrow keys, or the mousewheel to navigate.

Paradise Day 1

We left for Hawaii on Thursday. After sleeping on the plane and playing the Bean game (Bohnanza, a German card game that is awesome), we finally arrived. The first thing we did after picking up our rental car was check-in to the hotel. You know those movies that show people deplaning and people putting leis on them after they get off the plane? All lies. We didn't get one until we arrived at our hotel. I bet they just put that in the movies to try to trick people into going to Hawaii. You know, because Hawaii is hurting for tourists.

At the hotel, as MJ checked-in, a Master of Welcoming Guests to the Hotel came up to us and gave us guava juice! A pleasant surprise from the Best Hotel Welcomer Master ever!

After that, we quickly dumped our things and walked a few blocks down the road for some ramen. JL had recommended this small restaurant to us, but we had to keep calling and bugging him and EL because we didn't know if we were at the right restaurant or not. We went in and had some awesome ramen. The broth is a lot thicker than normal and it's really good. After we were done, the cook/manager/owner/head person came out and asked us if this was the first time we'd been there. When we said yes, he said we ordered the right thing. Definitely a good recommendation from JL/EL. Actually, nobody gave us any bad advice for the whole trip.

After eating our fill, we went swimming behind our hotel at Waikiki beach. This is the most touristy beach because it's where all the hotels, and thus tourists, are. This is when we discovered there are rocks in the ocean. Apparently the beach is eroding (as it is really short, take a look at the pics) and there is not enough sand on the ocean floor to cover the rocks. That's the conclusion I just made up. I blame global warming. Everyone please stop driving your cars so we can all enjoy the beaches in Hawaii.

For dinner that night, we had planned to go to Yummy's, a Korean restaurant that served "meat jun", which is just another name for "french toast with meat inside". We looked up the closest one and supposedly it was right across the street in the International Marketplace food court. Little did we know that the food court was closed for renovations. Since we didn't know where the second closest one was, we asked the concierge, who told us we would have to go to a nearby mall. We got to the mall, went inside a Macy's and asked an employee there if the food court had a Yummy's. Everyone we asked gave us this weird look like "Why do you want to goto Yummys?" We thought nothing of it until we got to the food court. Then it dawned on us: driving around Oahu asking people where to find the closest Yummy's is the equivalent to a tourist driving around LA asking where the closest Panda Express is. Not a place you would normally ask for specifically. The meat jun was good and then we had some Dole pineapple smoothy/frozen yogurt/ice cream for dessert.

Then we hung out at Barnes and Nobles.

Then I went back to my room-without-an-ocean-view and crashed.

Hawaii Day 1 pics

mainland USA

Returning from Hawaii is like dying, getting to heaven, and then being forced to come back to earth.

pics to follow.

posted pics from Thanksgiving and Kyle's wedding. It's not in the old gallery.

we're #1

OSU once again has the most numbers of undergraduates enrolled on it's main campus.

Columbus Dispatch

This is from 10/17/2006. I guess I'm out of the loop.

we watched the movie RV on the way back

I took at road trip to see the Grand Canyon for the first time on Jan 5 and 6. I was travelling with my cousin's family and they invited another family to come along. Total there were 5 adults and 6 kids in 1 RV.

I'll post pics later when I get them from the other road-trippers, but the most exciting part of the trip was the way home. The RV broke down twice. And we had to push it. 3 guys. Pushing an RV. Uphill.

Note to self: Before you get into any vehicle, make sure the passengers inside can push it if it breaks down.

Unabridged version:
On the way back to LA, we stopped at a Chevron gas station in Arizona. When we pulled in, JC, the driver commented to his wife that this was the exact same gas station he had problems at 15 years ago when they were on music ministry. At that time, they drove a Dodge van and something in the fuel caused the fuel filter to get clogged. JC decided to gas up this time anyway because we needed the gas. So he gassed up, and we were on our way.

The first breakdown occured a few hours later. The engine just started sputtering and finally we had to stop. Thankfully, it was about 200 ft away from a freeway exit and only on a very slight incline to the top of the hill, where it became downhill. We managed to push it (and then jump in while it was rolling) to a gas station where we gassed up and knocked loose whatever was blocking the fuel filter. After about 60 miles, the engine starts sputtering again.

For the second breakdown, JC knew what was coming and tried to exit before we our engine died. As we exited, the gas station was across the street, so we had to turn right and then turn left into the gas station. Unfortunately, there was oncoming traffic and we had to stop before turning left. On a hill. Steeper than the first time. All 3 guys got out, but this hill was too steep. The only way we ended up getting it into the gas station was the kind assistance of 4 guys who saw us and offered to help. (Yes, we were outside of LA. This is what people do.) We gassed up again, knocked loose whatever was blocking the filter and somehow made it all the way home.

I know I was hoping to experience new things when I moved to LA, but pushing an RV was definitely not one of them.

we regret to inform you

Nothing makes you want to check the mailbox more than expecting acceptance letters from schools.

So far, nothing.

The more schools you apply to, the better chances you'll get into one, right? But that also increases the number of potential rejection letters. I'm in for a possible 13.

T minus 4 days

With the New Year&trade approaching, I figured I would take this opportunity to upgrade my blog to the New, Improved, Blogger beta! Tada! Looks nice, huh?

During the upgrade process, I was forced to sit at a screen and wait. Blogger politely informed me that it would take a 'few minutes'. In actuality, it took longer than expected (like 7 whole minutes. Doesn't Blogger know some people are busy at work?). During that time, I started to worry. "How long is this going to take? What if it takes more than a day? What if during that time something happens to me? I won't be able to tell anyone! Oh crap! What if I think of something funny to write! No one will know!" Stuff nightmares are made of, I know.

Fortunately for all of you, it is now back up. (raise hands to the throng of people in thunderous applause)

Ok, since this year is my first ever "Christmas in LA", and my sister's in town, I'll end this post now and leave you with this thought: "This year, don't go cheap. Give the gift of Mozo." Yeah, I don't know what it means either, but it sounds good.

maybe that phone call is for me

Since when do the janitors answer the phone?

I just called a local restaurant at 2:40AM expecting to hear a recording telling me what their hours of operation were. Instead, after a couple rings, someone picks up.

"J. Alexanders. This is Kyle, how can I help you?"
"Uh....I was just wondering what your hours were tomorrow."
"Oh, I'm just the janitor. You have to call back tomorrow at 10. I think they're open from 11AM to 11PM."

Boggles the mind.

if that's your real name

I went to a "pre-Christmas" party tonight. Not a Christmas party, a "pre-Christmas" party. It was held by the church my sister goes to along with a Christian organization to help international students. Here's one conversation I had with someone I never met before (an international student).

Eric: "So are you a Christian?"
Me: "Yes."
Eric: "How long have you been a Christian?"
Me: "Pretty much all my life."
Eric: "I don't believe you."

Eric then walks away.

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, you're right. Because I routinely lie to people I meet for the first time. It's a character flaw, what can I say?

Peek-a-boo

I came back to Ohio for a week to attend one of my friends' weddings. Congrats to KE and GC!

While I've been back, I've enjoyed sleeping in everyday, eating my mom's homecooked meals and hanging out with my sister and old friends.

Tonight, I met up with some of my high school friends and we ate at a trendy sports bar/restaurant close to campus. Right before we were about to leave, I headed to the facilities to relieve myself.

(The following information is intended for female readers only as I assume it is not common knowledge. However, I happen to know there are sofas and chairs in some female restrooms, so I may just be making an incorrect assumption about how much the opposite gender knows about the other's restroom layout.) Some places will post interesting pictures or even newspaper pages on the wall to give males something to look at while we are using the urinal.

At this particular establishment, I looked up while relieving myself only to realize I was looking at people in the bar! For a split second, I thought people were also able to see me, but then I realized it was a two-way mirror.

This reminded me of something I read about on the Internet.

See through bathroom

Who puts a two-way mirror in the bathroom? It makes you wonder where else they install these things. What if they had installed it the wrong way?

To protect the innocent, I won't reveal the name of the restaurant in question, but for those of you in Columbus, it rhymes with ddie George's Grill and starts with an E.

You are cordially invited

Don't you hate it when your office building holds a holiday dessert reception and they have a big chocolate fountain that you dip a cookie into and then the chocolate drips on your white t-shirt? I sure do. Not that I have any experience with this sort of thing, it's just something random that popped into my head.