the perfect wife

For Labor Day weekend, I flew to Baltimore to meet up with my cousins and my siblings. I was expecting a nice relaxing weekend eating and playing Bang!. But I discovered something I never thought I'd find.


If a bushel of crabs were a woman, I'd marry her.

If you know me (and if you're reading this blog I assume you do, otherwise you're a stalker. If you are, drop me a line, maybe we can set something up. After all, if you love me that much to stalk me, you can't be all bad. And I'm still single.) then you know I love crab. If you look closely at the picture, you'll see "1 Bu" on the box which means 1 bushel. "How much is a bushel?" Fortunately for you, there was a dedicated team in Baltimore that set out to answer this question. 1 bushel = 5 dozen crabs. This makes me smile like you wouldn't believe.

When you look at a bushel of crabs, you feel anticipation, you get excited, and a warm fuzzy feeling starts growing inside. That would be your stomach growling. You also know that there is a lot of hard work involved, and sometimes you might get hurt. You know you'll have to really dig to get to the good stuff, but in the end, it'll all be worth it. Just like marriage.


A picture of the research team before we begin our experiment.

To unwind after such hard work, we played many a game of Bang! with the Dodge City and Fistful of Cards expansion packs. We also dabbled in some play of The Settlers of Catan. Also on the itinerary were a few rounds of Napoleon, and learning two very scandalous stories about my dad. (too scandalous to post, but I'll tell anyone who knows Taiwanese in person) To round out the meals, we ate at a southern BBQ place (with sweet tea!) and DW fired up the grill. Good food, good fun, and awesome company. And I met the perfect woman. I'd call it a success.

You know where to look for the rest of the pictures.

Thanks to DW and SC for hosting Labor Day 2006.

The last thing I want to mention is that SW and DW married well. The two most memorable quotes from the weekend:

"Follow your heart!" --MY
"I'm not willing to sacrifice Bang! time." --SC

Who knew the General Store could be so deadly?!

new office

My company finally moved into our new office. It was announced late 2005 and supposed to happen sometime in Jan 2006. Executed Aug 28, 2006. I guess they just like to give us advance notice.

Moving to a really nice office building in Santa Monica with covered parking, our own parking passes, a spacious office, and a window seat with a view is like getting a promotion. Obviously I have no idea what I'm talking about because I have never received a promotion. But I can dream.

I actually have my own window blinds. Watch out world, I'm moving up.

M.S. in Computer Science

ecstatic: The feeling one feels when one needs an A- or above in his/her last class to graduate, writes an email to the professor, receives a reply that says "if you knew you needed such a grade you should have worked for it and not try to pass on to me your problem", is forced to wait a week for grades to be revealed and then sees:

92568: A-

in the list of grades. (92568 would be the aforementioned person's id)

"It is finished." -Jesus
(Yes, this is a gross misquote of the Bible)

Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty! I'm free at last!

Seriously, God must really love me, because according to my calculations, there was no chance of me getting an A-. (PNG, you can add this to the list)

one of these things is exactly like the other

The universe almost exploded.

man severs dead cells after almost 1 year

pics from Hair Cut 2006 have been posted.

My photographer MJ wants to be credited.

they can take our lives, but they can never take......

Today, I will take my last final.

Today, I will cut my hair. Actually, EL will.

Today, I will taste freedom.

temporary outage

Due to moving, the poll will be down until next Wednesday. That's when we get our Internet connection at our new apartment. If you see me before then shaking, sweating, and pale, don't worry, I'm just practicing my dance moves for JT/TC's wedding.

Yeah, right. I don't know how to dance.

Saturday, August 5, 2006 has arrived. Booooo.

Moving Day, we meet again. I still hate you.

Moving sucks. Why? Because it messes up my organizational system. I'm one of those who subscribe to the "I-know-where-everything-is" system. This system works great. It's gotten me through 24 years of my life. The only problem is when someone else messes with the system and tries to "clean". How am I supposed to keep track of where things are if someone else is moving them around? That's not how the system works!

It is also a catastrophe for the system when you have to move. How am I supposed to know where stuff is when it's all in boxes that are in motion? "Where is your toothbrush?" "I dunno which box it's in! But I can tell you where it was in my bathroom!" See what I mean? Catastrophe. At least when I unpack, the system will naturally right itself again.

It's times like this that I realize my life fits in a handful of boxes. Except my car. And motorcycle. And family, friends, relatives, loved ones. But you know what I mean.

ugh

Time: 8:11AM
Hours slept since 2PM yesterday: 0

I just arrived at work after pulling an all nighter working on my project. I don't remember the last time I pulled an all nighter for school. I think it was for a PolySci class in college where I had to write a 20 page paper. I think I started it the night before it was due. That class was also during the summer.

No, my project is not done. Probably 95% complete.

Amount of meaningful work I'm going to get done at work today: none
Amount I usually get done: close to none

How delirious I am: very

SITREP

Date: August 3, 2006
Time: 4:18PM
Day of Week: Thursday
Location: Computer Lab, Salvatory Hall, USC, Los Angeles, CA
Purpose: waiting to attend my last class of my last (hopefully) course at USC
Name: Bond, James Bond

I'm sitting here in a nicely air conditioned room reading the news about how hot it is in NYC, wars in Lebanon/Iraq and blogs of people I don't even know. This very likely is the last time I'll be in a computer lab at USC, the last time I'll be waiting for a class to start (at least for another year), one of the last days before I get my degree (again, hopefully. Can you sense I'm full of hope?). The last Friday before I cut my hair (let's have a moment of peace for that......ok, moving on).

This should be a momentous occasion, one of those moments in life I think back on with fond memories. This should be a defining moment in the History of JW. But, sadly it's not. This moment will pass without much more thought than it takes to write this entry. And I really don't feel too sad about that.

Instead, I look to the future, or some such nonsense. Honestly, I can't think of anything else besides trying to finish my project which is due in 32 hours. And I took off 2 days of work for it. Argh.

Ok, class is starting in 3 minutes.

too bad, so sad

(this links to a picture of something dead)

Our temporary 3rd roommate is no more.

when did this happen?!

The Internet becomes a very scary place when your mom starts using emoticons.

Sample email 1:
ops!! I mean I will pick Melissa on 7/17/06, and the "Safe trip" is for everyone of us who's going to travel in the future.

Embarassed smiley? Wink?! When did my mom know what wink meant? If I ever winked at her she'd think there was something wrong with my eye.

Sample email 2:
I am just learning to use it, but it's OK for you to make fun out of my expense , because I am enjoying to read all of your suprises.

The idea of my mom sticking her tongue out at me just destroys any idea of normalcy I had in my head.

My mom is joining the Internet revolution.

This scares me to no end.

(Kudos to Yahoo for making emoticons so user-friendly, my mom can use them.)

Today marks....

Exactly one month until I cut my hair.

Exactly one month until I finish school.

Let this be the shortest month ever.

The Great Digital Divide

There is a chasm. It is big. It is wide. It is known as the Great Digital Divide. (yes, I did make that up on the spot.)

If any of you have been paying attention to the blogosphere, you'll already know about the Stolen Sidekick. (a LOT of reading on that page, reserve 30-60 min to read it all)

Summary: Person A has a friend who left their Sidekick (a T-mobile email thingy/cell-phone) in a NYC taxi. Person B finds it and keeps it. Person A offers reward and tries to get it back. Person B refuses. Person A is appalled at the lack of consideration from Person B. Person A decides to humiliate Person B on the internet to try to get the Sidekick back.

I don't care to comment on the morality of the situation or how it all played out, but what struck me was this: It's obvious that Person A is definitely in the "technology haves" while Person B (who is a 16-year-old mother) is probably in the "technology have-nots". While Person B may have a computer/cell-phone/myspace page, she definitely does not have as much knowledge as Person A (who works in the IT industry). What if the roles had been reversed? Person A wouldn't have the knowledge to create a website to publicly shame Person B and get the support of thousands/millions of readers. Or the money to pay for the bandwidth. Or the ability to take that much time off (the guy missed a week of work; he's a consultant).

Is this fair? Essentially, those who are tech-savvy have a tremendous advantage over those who are not. While this is true with many other things (born a certain race, class, or in a certain country), the information age is widening this gap and making it even more difficult for the weak/oppressed/poor to move up. While the Internet/technology is a huge boon to economic activity and is changing our lives forever, it's also leaving people behind.

What's the moral of this story? Teach your kids how to use a computer. I know a great tutor who is about to get his Master's in Computer Science, loves kids, and has really long hair.

Just kidding, the real moral of the story is we need to help those on the other end of the chasm to come to our side, but you already knew that.

this just in: second richest man in the world gives billions to first richest man

http://money.cnn.com/2006/06/25/magazines/fortune/charity1.fortune/index.htm?cnn=yes

Not really, but that sensationalist title got you to read this post right?

second time i've won something

I just won a company raffle for a mini fridge. It's now sitting on my desk cooling a bottle of snapple. Way to go piece of paper with '3' on it.

The first time I won something, I got a package in the mail with a free computer game and a T-shirt. I didn't even remember entering the contest, but whatever.

T-shirt and computer game, now a mini fridge. I'm moving up! Too bad I didn't win the lottery last time it was over 300 million.

< Ross' voice > It's all relative

Yup. That's right. I'm part Dutch.

As my conversation with SC confirms, his mom and my mom both say we have Dutch blood in our family. I think the story goes like this:

Somebody, somewhere, a long time ago got married. To a Dutch lady (or guy). And then they had kids, and some more people got married and had kids, and somewhere in there, I was born. Thus, making it clear and obvious that I am part Dutch. If anybody says otherwise, you can point them to the aforementioned irrefutable evidence.

This also explains my amazing hair growing ability.

See? The world make sense again. Rest easy.

The end is near

A date has been set. For the cutting of the hair. I know, it's a momentous occasion.

I think it's kinda sad that I didn't document this. (I say sad, some people say a fortuitous oversight. Hey, I say I want to remember this phase of my life. If you were in some kind of horrible accident that left you temporarily disfigured, wouldn't you want it documented and photographed so you could remember it? Ok, maybe not. I'm gonna have to rethink this whole give-an-example thing.)

This all started back in Sept or Oct of 2005. BM and I agreed to grow out our hair and made a pact saying neither one of us could cut it (trimming was allowed) unless both of us agreed. Thus began my journey on the path to becoming a walking advertisement for the Hair Club for Men. And then got promoted to the Example-of-What-Happens-When-Your-Hair-Takes-Over-Your-Head Club for anyone. Over the course of the last hair-filled months, I have learned many things, a sampling of which I will list below.

The amount of time it takes to shower has an exponential relation to the length of your hair

You (and when I say you, I mean me) should rotate shampoo and conditioners because they all have their uses

I used to take for granted that I never had to comb my hair. Not anymore. I can't even put my contacts in without first combing my hair out of the way.

My hair is naturally wavy.

Hair-ties are priceless. (and free if you bum them off your female friends)

The heat retention property of hair is amazing. This becomes especially pronounced in the summer (read NOW).

It takes forever for your hair to grow long enough to donate to Locks of Love. Seriously. Forever. And we all know Forever is too long.

All of your friends and relatives will crack hair jokes. All of them. Even EL's Dad who completely out of the blue, said "If we were gonna make a movie, guess who'd be Jesus?" and then slapped me on the back. Yup, all of them.

I feel like I've learned so much, and come such a long way from my short-haired ignorance.

Nah, maybe not.

August 8th, mark your calendars. Cuz I know that's what you do when something important is gonna happen.

san-guo's birthday

I dunno how to spell Taiwanese words.

Pictures from my Dad's 3rd sister's Birthday celebration have been posted.

My favorite moment from that night:

You know that awkward moment when someone is talking to you, or you need to say something but your mouth is full of food? Or how about if you need to smile for a spontaneous picture? This happened to Kay. As we were eating, our uncle came over to our table to take a picture. JL and EL's family was first. So they told Kay to smile. Which she did. That's when she realized her mouth was full of food. (Rice from what I saw) This is what I imagine was going on in her head.

"Oooo, a camera. The relatives must want more pictures of me so they can remember how cute I am. That's what I would do if I were them. Who IS that weird uncle with the long hair? I've been wondering that ever since he sat down. I think his name starts with a J......Jane? Janice? Janine? He looks like a girl. He should cut his hair after he finishes his last class and gets his degree. Oh wait, Mommy and Daddy are telling me to smile. What is this stuff in my mouth? Oh, it must be the rice. But I'm not supposed to open my mouth when I'm eating. What to do? WHAT TO DO?! I know, I'll ask Daddy."

So Kay turns to JL and points to her full cheeks and says, "I have food in my mouth." Since the picture was about to be taken, JL and EL reply, "it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter" through their smiles.

I think the picture was taken with a confused Kay looking at JL. I'm really curious how that picture turned out.

I'd have to say my second favorite moment was when everyone was taught how to play Bang!

Buh-Buh-Boston?

Whenever I come back from a vacation, I wish my life were a vacation all the time. (Yeah, I know I don't have room to complain because, let's face it, my life is pretty good. But still, doesn't everyone wish it could be better? Yes, I know everyone wishes my life would be better. Don't you just love all these rhetorical questions I ask?)

So last weekend I flew out to Boston to visit my bro and his wife, SW and MY. My sister JW and my cousin and his wife DW and SW met us there, too. This was the first reunion of the "Bang! Dodge City" club. If you don't know what that is, you should find out. (Yes, I know the original Bang! club was in San Jose with EH, DO and VO, but this is the first time with the _expansion_. Just thought I'd clarify.)

I arrived Friday, and spent most of the day chatting with MY and studying for my LSATs. Since it was raining, everyone's flight got delayed and we picked up JW, DW, and SW at night. We wasted no time and played Bang! as soon as everyone got home.

On Saturday it was raining all day. But that didn't stop us from walking around Boston. We got some Dim Sum in China Town, then went to Quincy Market. Afterwards, we walked to Paul Revere's house. Then we went home, steamed some lobster and feasted. Then we played some more Bang!

Sunday, we woke up and went to CBCGB, then went to lunch at Chili's with SW's friends. After lunch, we went home and decided to go walk around Copley Square and Newbury street. Then we rushed home to buy dinner and squeeze in one last game of Bang! before DW and SW left that night. You know how great it is when we decide we don't have enough time and must play WHILE we're eating.

Monday was my LSATs which is the longest test I've ever taken. Depending on my score, I may or may not elaborate further. We'll see in July. Afterwards, we went to go watch Cars. And then I flew home.

Pictures are now up.

for your amusement

The Advertising Slogan Generator

And now for something completely different.

GOAL!!!

I remember where I was 4 years ago during this month. I was in Taiwan, attending a Chinese Language camp with my brother and younger sister. It was hot. It was humid. And we were dying.

The camp was like a prison, except without the bars, guards, and prisoners. Our schedule was laid out for us every hour of every day and the teachers gave us tons of homework. I remember we counted down every single day until it would be over. And when it was, everyone started crying. There were people from Hong Kong, Indonesia, and the US. But despite our differences, we all bonded together against a common enemy, our overlords. It's amazing the relationships you build when you are going through hardships.

Anyway, why do I even remember this? Because I remember the World Cup was on tv during that time. Yeah, I know, random memory. It's amazing what kind of junk I have stored in my head.

allergy season

What's the worst part about riding a motorcycle? Is it perpetually being invisible to car drivers? No air conditioning/radio? Not being able to pick up your cellphone? The fear of getting rear-ended at any traffic light?

None of the above. The worst thing about riding a motorcycle is having to sneeze. And seeing as how my allergies have been acting up recently, my daily commute to work has had its interesting moments.

Midwesterners are just nicer

Wednesday night, one of my roommates and I decide to get some coffee after dinner. In the parking lot, we witness an accident: a pickup truck backs into another car. When the drivers got out, the truck driver starts yelling at the car driver. My roommate and I park the car and go over because we were witnesses to the accident. (I don't know about CA driving laws, but in Ohio, if you're a witness to an accident, you're supposed to stay until the police arrive so you can give a statement. If there's already a witness, you can leave.) As it was a crowded parking lot, a lot of people saw it happen and we all agreed it was the truck driver's fault. Since the truck driver was yelling at the car driver, we all came to his defense and a lot of people gave him their number offering to complete a statement saying it was the truck driver's fault. After everyone came to the car driver's aid, the truck driver backed off.

What was surprising to me about this incident, was that it was one of the few times I have witnessed LAians being genuinely decent, nice, and helpful to others. Ever since I moved here, most of my experiences have been on the side of the truck driver; everyone only cares about their own needs/wants/life. It's nice to see LA actually has a soul, too.

what's in a name?

hahahahahhaahaa.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4774429.stm



Check out a picture of the real Guy Kewney. (he's on the left column)

more babysitting adventures

Ever wondered what it was like to drive around with 3 kids in the car yelling "We're lost! We're lost! We're lost!"? Yeah me neither. But fortunately for me, now I never have to.

Babysitting for my cousin involves watching 3 future-stunt-doubles. (If they end up doing anything besides becoming professional stunt doubles, they are not using all of the gifts God gave them, which include but are not limited to: the ability and desire to climb everything......and then jump off, and not have a scratch on them, as well as the energy equivalent of a million mortal men) Today's task included taking them to their dance class.

Ok, no problem.

Except that today, the road that my cousin told me to take to get to the class was blocked off for a parade.

Ok, no problem. Just go around.

That's when I found out that kids, even though they don't know street names or directions, can 'remember' the way to get to a certain place. Since we weren't taking the normal route, all I kept hearing was "I don't remember this place. Are we lost? Do you know how to get there? Are you sure you're going the right way? This is taking a long time. We should have been there by now. I think we're lost. I don't want to be lost." This eventually led to "WE'RE LOST!! WE'RE LOST!!" And no matter how many times I assured them we weren't lost, that I was just taking a different road because the road was closed, they would have none of it.

This created a problem. I think today was the first day that babysitting has made me not want to have kids. Ever. Granted, that was a brief moment, but I think I've reached a new plane on the whole "to have kids/not to have kids" question.

Another interesting thing happened today. While waiting for his two older sisters to finish their dance class, the youngest kid (GC) and I were walking around. Suddenly, a small dog escapes from his owner's grasp and runs toward GC. GC starts frantically running away and screaming at the top of his lungs. At first, this catches me completely off guard. Dogs run toward me all the time. They smell your crotch, maybe sniff your hand and then run away. What I later realized was that if something the size of a BEAR was running at me, I probably would have reacted in the exact same way. AND, I'm guessing he doesn't have a lot of interaction with dogs. I felt bad. He's probably scarred for life. I didn't really know what to do either, as they were running in circles around me. Do I try to grab the dog? Or do I try to grab the frantic kid who's running for his life? Didn't matter, by the time I started moving, the owner already had grabbed the dog. Yeah, I guess I'm not so decisive under pressure.

the end is near

The first class of my last semester at USC was this afternoon. I only fell asleep three times. That I know of.

The professor is humorous and he says he grades leniently, but the class involves a lot of projects. Great. So much for a nice relaxing last semester. Oh well, it'll make finishing that much more of an accomplishment.

In other news, this video caused my department at work to explode into laughter the other day. Back to you, Bob.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wzMJ_RdgHg

future of communication

For the last few years, I've been using a program called Skype (rhymes with pipe). It lets you talk with any other Skype user for free using a computer, mic, and speakers/headphones. It has also allowed you to call any other phone in the world for a fee (a couple cents/min depending on country). This has been great for international calls (free if both people are near a internet-enabled computer).

That's all changing.

According to this, ALL calls originating and ending in the US and Canada are free. At least until the end of this year. This means people who don't want to use their cell phone minutes during peak hours can call any phone (including cell phones) in the US or Canada, anytime, for free as long as they are near a computer. I mean, I don't know anyone like that *cough*MJ*cough*, but maybe you do.

No catches, no gimmicks.

Welcome to the future. Commence rejoicing.

Graduation day

Things I will remember about my graduation:

Being slightly late and having to try to find my college while other colleges were already proceeding into the graduation area. Luckily we were one of the last ones to be seated.

Seeing all the engineering students stand on their chairs to get a better view....while everyone else was sitting down. (see pictures in gallery)

Going to E3 during the break from the main ceremony and my satellite ceremony. Sometimes it's hard to believe I live in LA.

Sitting through a billion graduates' names while I waited for my name to be called.

Seeing my friends at the front of the audience taking pictures.

Hearing my name pronounce correctly. (Chinese pronounciation, "wong" not "wang")

Seeing TC do a crazy dance while I walked across the stage.

Looking for a way to escape with a bunch of other graduates.

Seeing my friends there.

Even though I don't officially finish for another semester, participating in commencement really makes me feel like I've finished something. The last class is like the cleanup you have to do after a big party. The main event is over, you just have some odds and ends to take care of.

This blog has lasted through another chapter in my life. I wonder what's next.

Thanks to RY, TC, BH, JL, EL, EH, WL, DVJ for coming. Thanks to KG for the flowers. They were very masculine.

Student in the USC Viterbi School of Engineering planning on graduating in August 2006.

commence firing, captain!

Yesterday I finished my last presentation for this semester. Too bad my "summer" break is only until next Wednesday. I feel a lot less stressed though. Maybe because I'm walking in my commencement on Friday, so I feel like I'm graduating. Even though I'm not. Booo.

How did I get here? I feel like I've just been moseying along, taking classes, working and not really paying attention to what I'm doing (like most of my life). All of a sudden I run through the finish line tape that says I'm supposed to walk in the Spring commencement even though I don't finish until August. Dude, how come no one told me most other schools (that don't have 40-50,000 undergraduates) only have commencement ceremonies once a year? That just goes to show you never know what you don't know. (that's a quote from my wise friend BH)

So, what now?

This has nothing to do with anything. But it's cool.

http://users.skynet.be/J.Beever/pave.htm

Hi, I'm water

"Hi, my name is Nabela."
"Hi, I'm Jeff. Nice to meet you."
"You don't look like a Jeff."

What do I look like then? People have only said this to me a handful of times throughout my life. Each time, I don't know how to respond. If someone says you don't look like your name, how are you supposed to take that? I'm conflicted between anger (who are you to decide how Jeff's should look?), confusion (maybe I've been misnamed, who am I?), and curiosity (what about my appearance differs from other Jeff's?). Usually curiosity wins out. In this case, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation.

"Really? What makes you say that?"
"I dunno. You just look like you should have a Hawaiian name, like Aqua or something."

...I think I should cut my hair.....or change my name to Aqua....

now we can laugh with him

2006 White House Correspondents Association Dinner

on protests and boycotts

from nytimes.com

"I was thinking about not buying things, but then I needed to buy stuff," Mr. Sanchez said in Spanish, with the cashier, Jolenne Ramirez, interpreting.

...

"I'm a citizen, but I support people who come here to work. I don't care where people come from, whether they're white, black or Oriental, I don't care," said Mr. Garcia, 36, a taxi driver who emigrated from Mexico 20 years ago.

...

"We work so we can pay the bills," said Efrain Hernandez, 61, who was born in Texas. "We have to work, but we're not going to buy nothing."

-----

I think we should give them the right to an education that teaches how to articulate, not use politically incorrect terms, and avoid using double negatives. Immigrant rights!

welcome to the suck

Last night, I discovered, for the second time since I've moved to LA, I was the victim of an attempted Grand Theft Auto. The key word in that phrase starts with an A and rhymes with bempted. (for those with less than spectacular rhyming skills, the word that I'm referring to is attempted) My car has now almost been stolen twice, but has somehow resisted. How is this possible, you ask? In this City of Angels car thieves, how was my car able to resist falling into evil hands? What reasonable explanation is there for this?

I can think of only one.

My car is invincible.

(imitate end of GoldenEye)
(end scene)

π ways to build a robot wife for an engineer

March 9, 2006 - tagged by MJ.
March 10 to April 10 - kidnapped by aliens....or something.
April 11, 2006 - realize I've been tagged and proceed to write this post.

Since the tagger's xanga is protected, I have to explain what I've been tagged for. I'm supposed to give a list of what I look for in a future mate.

As with any good informal-posted-on-a-blog list, I think a preface is in order. Since technology will probably not be able to produce a life-like robot (or android) in my lifetime, I guess I have to settle for the real thing. (Yes, my name is calculon, and I am a Geek™) (No, my real name is not calculon, but that's something that geeks do, c'mon, keep up)

Ok, now that the pleasantries are out of the way, everyone go read this.

Do we all agree geeks are awesome? Ok, now we can get to the point.

(I've added percentages to show what portion of the world's population would fall into that criterion)

According to my parents, my future wife must meet 2 criteria.

1. female 50%
2. undeniable evidence from the way she lives that she loves God much less than 33%

Now that I have fulfilled my filial duty, I present to you the list, in no particular order:

She is fluent in Mandarin (this includes reading and writing) + (ideally) Taiwanese
You know, my Mandarin and Taiwanese are only ok. But my family thinks it's really good. So everytime my parents/aunts/uncles or someone-who-i-don't-know-but-is-probably-related talk to me, I have to pretend that I know what they're saying. But I'm really clueless. They could be asking me the recipe for fortune-cookies for all I know. So who better to be your interpreter than your spouse right? An added bonus is getting great service at Chinese restaurants.

The real reason for this is for our kids. We gotta give them every advantage we can right? I can teach them how to play video games, but who will teach them to speak another language? Their mom! This way they'll be all prepared to argue with people in Taiwan over which video game is the best. 13.4%

She is humorous
I want someone who can laugh at my family with me. And who finds the little things in life funny. Because I lost those when I was like 6. And ever since then, I've only had the big things. I need to complete my life funny set!

Oh, and anytime I'm making fun of someone in our family (read: siblings and their spouses) she has to be on my side. Those are the rules.

She is social glue
For the simple fact that I am not. There are some out there that do not believe my claim of being introverted. But, trust me, I'm an introvert. And shy. That's why I'm posting an intensly personal list of future-mate-traits on the Internet. No, seriously, I need someone who can get me out of conversations I don't want to be in. We'll have a hand signal and everything. Like me waving to her to come over and join the conversation. And then I'll leave. 60%

She prefers truth over happiness
I am of this mindset. I'd rather know the whole truth even if it'll hurt me. And hopefully she'll be the same. So there won't be any confusion when she asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" and I answer truthfully. If she wanted me to lie, why did she ask? She knows I'm an honest person!

She is decisive
This is one of my pet peeves. I hate it when people can't make up their minds. There is nothing wrong with looking at the big picture, making sure you didn't miss anything and taking your time to make a wise decision. But once you've made up your mind, stick to your decision. Debating the pros/cons of any decision could last forever (I know, because I tend to do this). Eventually you just have to pick one. (Perfect example is when I ask her to marry me. She can take her time to reach her decision. But I'll only take her first answer, be it yes or no) (just kidding, if it's no, I'll let her change it)

She has (or will have) an upper level degree
This is defined as something beyond a bachelor's degree. This is mainly because I don't want our kids to be dumb (yeah, she's gonna have to offset my contribution to the brains department). And also because my jokes are really complex. Nah, I just want her to be the wage earner in the family so I can be a house-husband. 7.9%

She likes to read
This is related to the previous criterion. Plus, what if I'm IMing her a joke and it takes her 10 seconds to read? The moment will have passed. Steps must be taken to avoid huge potential calamities such as this.

She wears glasses
This isn't really that important to me, but if I had the choice, I'd prefer someone who wore glasses. (contacts count). For some reason, I find this attractive. Maybe because if I lose my contacts, I can steal hers. Oh, having the exact same prescription as me gets bonus points.

She has musical ability
I think it would be hard for me to marry someone who can't sing in tune. It would just make me not want to sing. Ever. And that would be a sad sad marriage. But honestly, playing an instrument is attractive. Just an insurance policy for our pan-handling in case she loses her job.

She likes logic puzzles and red herrings
She can join in our debates about who got the Sudoku puzzle first. I did of course. She's married to me remember?

She likes to play cards
This is so she won't feel bored at family gatherings. I mean between translating for me and being social glue, she has to do something right?

She likes kids
How can you have a family if you don't like kids? And how can you start a family owned business if you don't have family? Which brings me to my point.

She has siblings
I need someone to give me dirt on her, right? And who will tell all the embarrassing stories at the wedding banquet?

She wants to get married in Hawaii
Ok, anybody who I've explained this to can be excused for this session. Basically it goes like this: If we get married in Hawaii, then only people who really want to come (read: close friends and family) will actually shell out the money to fly to Hawaii. This solves the problem of inviting a bunch of people you don't really know at your wedding. Another bonus is you get to spend a few days hanging out with your close friends and family in Hawaii instead of them just flying in, spending a few hours with you at the rehearsal dinner + ceremony + banquet, and then flying back home. The last benefit of getting married in Hawaii is the all-in-one packages. I hear they start at $5000. Just show up and everything is taken care of. (Obviously the lowest packages probably leave much to be desired, but still, this is my example for my list, just let it go). But seriously, who doesn't want to get married in paradise? 100%

She knows how to take care of finances
This will become very important when I make a lot of money. I mean, when she makes a lot of money. Plus, I don't want to marry a big spender. Big earner, that's who I want to marry.

She is tall
This is very subjective. But let's put it this way, I don't think I would have a problem marrying someone taller than me. And I want my kids to be tall (because taller people have advantages). Obviously, not too tall. But not short. Ideally, someone the same height as me, 5'7".

She is ticklish
Just because. I am, so it would be unfair if she could tickle me but I wouldn't be able to tickle her. I'm all about fairness.

She can drive
This may seem like a weird criterion, but think how hard it would be to marry someone who couldn't drive....well. I would have to do all the driving on road trips, I would have to pay huge insurance premiums because of all the accidents, etc. This just causes too many problems. This only becomes a non-issue if we live somewhere with good public transportation (NY or Taipei for example). But even then, the rare occasion where we rented a car I would have to drive. Nevermind, this is never a non-issue.

She votes!
If you don't know why, then....uh.....just skip to the next one. 45%

She can cook ... well
This is because I like to eat ... well. Actually, I'm not a very picky eater, so I don't even know why I put this here. Maybe to impress my Mom? Oh, our kids. So our kids will have good healthy meals to eat, that's right, I remember now. After all, they have to be tall, remember?

She doesn't talk during movies
If I wanted to talk with her, I wouldn't have bought a ticket to watch a movie. This just boggles the mind. Do I buy a ticket to a concert so I can eat a 7 course meal? Do I buy a ticket to a theme park so I can read a book? The answer is no. We'll talk after the movie. She just needs to remember all the things she wanted to say and spill them out after the credits. This is another pet peeve of mine.

She doesn't want to keep separate bank accounts
Read this.

She doesn't want a diamond ring
The reason I refuse to buy a diamond ring is because the diamond industry is a cartel. Long story short: Diamonds are worthless and we have been conditioned to believe they are valuable. The high prices are artificially fixed. Everytime you buy a diamond, you are supporting an evil cartel. Do a google search. You'll find out the truth.

Ten reasons why you should never accept a diamond ring

Read this if you really want to know why I don't like diamonds

Article in The Economist

This is actually something I feel strongly about, but I know it is probably the most likely criterion I will have to compromise on. 0%

Conclusion
There are (an estimated) 6.5 billion people in the world.
If I multiply all the percentages together (excluding the 0% diamond one), I am left with 3,065,441 possible candidates.

If I include:

no long distance (0.15%) (people living in Los Angeles County (9,937,739) vs. the world (6.5 billion)

age range 22.4%

I'm left with 1050 people.

What does this mean? If I get married, it will truly be a miracle.

The above is completely true and factual. Any sarcasm or alluding to humor in the above post is completely coincidental. The terms of this list are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

http://www.oneredpaperclip.com

BM sent me this link:
http://www.baunmah.com/cita/movie.html

Their stupidity seems to be limitless

“In fact, the RIAA has been known to suggest that students drop out of college or go to community college in order to be able to afford settlements.”

http://www-tech.mit.edu/V126/N15/RIAA1506.html

Mozo RIP 4/1/2006

The original purpose of this blog was to share my exploits while I was living in Taiwan. As that purpose has now been fulfilled, and I no longer am living in Taiwan, I have decided to take down this blog.

Mozo will not be publishing for the indefinite future. It was nice while it lasted. Thanks to all the fans and readers. See you on another site.

fun with kids

The videos below are from Kay's birthday. You'll need Flash installed.

Mandy
1MB

Kay
6MB

I also posted pics from BM's gig at HOB.

posted pictures from Kay's birthday.

no, really. you should go.

UPCOMING GIG with FULL BAND

Sunday, March 26 @ 7:00pm

HOUSE OF BLUES Sunset Strip
8430 W. Sunset Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90069

18 and over.

Tickets are $10 presale. Buy presale tickets here.
Don't buy tickets at the door, because the house gets the money, not the artist.
Buy presale!

the Band
Benny Mao - acoustic guitar and vocals
Mark Lee - electric guitar
Eric Yang - electric guitar
Jerome Gaw - electric bass
Tim Hwang - drums

Great......

http://redtape.msnbc.com/2006/03/what_if_a_despe.html#posts

Good thing I use a shredder....

Opt out, people! Opt out!

lookame lookame lookame!

What have I been up to the past couple of months?

Look at this.

Did you see it? Did you SEE it? Yeah, the lights were off. Yes, that's right, I'm in charge of turning off the lights.

Now you guys know what I'm doing when I say, "I have to go work on my project."

If anyone can tell me where the title is from, you win a cookie. Or a ride on my motorcycle. Hint: sue-vee action jeep.

vote for a boring america

Back in the old days (i.e. 15 years ago), video games were still in their infancy. There were a lot of game companies struggling to make it, but common theme pervaded all the games: in order for game companies to sell more game, they needed to make it more fun. More exciting. More addicting.

Fast Forward to the present.

Tonight, as I worked on my project (implementing motion capture to play a student built computer game), we got into a discussion with someone who came to test the game. He was asked if he played Halo 2, and he just shook his head and said he can't go there. Can't. Not won't, can't. Why? Because of one game in junior year of college, he almost failed the entire year. He stayed up all night playing it, skipped class the next day, slept through the day, got up, and since he had no homework to do, started playing again. For 3 days. He finally went to the lab to work on a presentation that was due the next day. Unfortunately for him, this was right when Quake 3 demo came out. Someone so fortuitously decided to install it on all the lab's machines. And they played. And played. Until 20 min before they had to present. They got up there, shrugged their shoulders and said, we don't have anything. The professor was forced to fail his group. Now, he stays away from any game he knows will consume him (read: any game that's TOO fun).

Has anyone ever heard of WoW? World of Warcraft, a MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role-playing game)? I have never played it, nor will I. Why? Because it'll suck up too much time. You pay (a monthly fee) to play and essentially you live out an alternate life in the game. You have a character, you collect stuff, kill people, buy things, make friends, kill more people, collect more stuff, buy more stuff, make more friends, etc. If I didn't spend time playing the game, I would feel like I was wasting my money. And other people would be advancing in the game while I accomplished meaningful goals in my life.

Or perhaps you've heard of people dying from playing too many video games.

Conclusion: video games are too addicting. They have gone from being not fun enough and trying to sell as many as possible, to being too fun and addicting and causing people to die. Of course, it's still the person's fault that decided playing video games was more important than eating or sleeping, but don't you think we've gone a little too far?

This is an official call to arms for game programmers/designers/industry execs. Make games boring. For the sake of our country and our children's children, please stop making fun games. I for one, will do everything I can to make only boring games.

it's that time again

Welcome back, folks. It is, once again, time to revisit the Jeff-look-a-like subject. I was having dinner with DW and SC and they mentioned that I looked like Apolo Anton OHNO who just won the Gold medal in speedskating. Ok, I'm down for another experiment. As always, in order to ensure scientific integrity, I am opening up the experiment to public review. After all, if this blog doesn't have integrity, what does it have? Nothing, folks, nothing.

So, as before, I submit for review two pieces of evidence. Please examine them with the utmost care and do not overlook any detail, as I will also try my best to do.



And once again, I'm forced to admit that I see no resemblence whatsoever. There is not even a hint of similarity. I'm sorry, but this look-a-like has also failed the test.

What can I say? There is no one who looks like me, and I look like no one else. I guess I really am unique. There's no other explanation.

As an addendum to a previous post, last time DW was here, he along with his two of his fellow doctors/classmates/researchers/friends were attending a conference in Anaheim. I drove them from Anaheim to the beach and to check out Mann's Chinese Theater. Apparently, it was a very spiritual experience for them, as they have told DW that they found God during that time. My guess is that it was probably while they were holding on to my car with a white-knuckled grip as I was navigating the freeways. They must have been so moved by their encounter with Him that they reflexively had to hold on to something. That's the only explanation I can come up with. DW thinks it might be because they aren't used to LA driving, but I don't think that's it. Everyone who has been in my car knows I drive like a careful old grandmother. I take special care not to drive over the speed limit and always drive defensively. I always am courteous to other drivers and never cut them off. But if God has found a way to use my careful driving skills to bring people to him, who am I to argue? This must be my calling.

Comments are getting an overhaul. I'm switching to Blogger comments. Apparently with the FREE Haloscan account, you only get the most recent 4 months of comments. I have to port all of them over. It's gonna take me a million years.

Last night was Bmao's birthday. (Well, technically, yesterday was Bmao's birthday, but whatever)

At work, I'm IMing with co-conspirator/cohort/fellow planning-committee-member RY.

me: "it's 4:00pm. only 3 hrs left"
RY: "you're more excited about tonight than BM!"

The truth is, I'm not more excited about tonight (last night). I just can't wait for it to be over.

Throwing a birthday party is like a wedding. Someone else does the planning, invites the people, makes the reservations, and coordinates with a billion different people who don't response to their evite until the day of. Oh wait, weddings are nothing like that. You have to do it all yourself. And you don't use evite. (ooo, another million dollar idea?) But still, when the day comes, you wonder if you planned for everything, you hope everything goes off without a hitch, (or in the case of a wedding, you hope people do get hitched) (get it? hitched? hahahahhha) (yeah, it's sad that I laugh at my own jokes) and you are anxious to see if your plans will come to fruition. Meanwhile, the Birthday-person is hopefully enjoying him/herself. Kinda like the wedding day when the couple is supposed to enjoy themselves and the slaves wedding party is supposed to take care of everything.

Which all goes back to my plan of getting married in Hawaii and buying one of those all-in-one-step-off-the-plane-and-everything-is-prepared-for-you packages. Future wife, are you reading this? Don't worry, I got it all under control.

The messer's have become the messee's

I've been getting random emails from my dad that have to do with his work. It'll be some email about confirming some trip or something. And I'll be CC'ed on the email. When I ask him why I got the email, he'll be like, "I sent that to you by mistake." But I think I'm on some email list he created because he keeps sending them to me. (It's kinda like this but on a much smaller level).

Is this a sign of things to come? A minor clue to the future of our relationship? Is this foreshadowing of the next chapter in my (and my sibling's) life? Maybe I'm overreacting (a likely possibility). Or maybe, just maybe, my dad is starting to lose it, a little bit at a time.

Hi Dad!

6 words

"Dear Jeffrey,

The Training Program regrets ..."

That's all I need to read to know I didn't get in.

Possible side effects include dying

Last week, at our bi-weekly men's/women's group meeting, MJ says she has good news and bad news to tell me.

MJ: "The good news is: I have great car insurance."
(and she saved a bunch by switching to Geico!)
me: "uhhhhhh...."
MJ: "The bad news is: I think I backed into your car."

After checking it out, it turns out to be nothing more than a minor scratch. Nothing to write home about.

The next day, I find out some disturbing news...

MJ: i told the w's gp about it
MJ: i said of all the guys at the exodus, i'd want to hit ur car
MJ: we all tht about it,a dn they agreed too
MJ: so it's agreed among the women if we have to hit someone's car, i'ts gonna be urs
MJ: sorry dood
me: what the heck
me: i don't want women's grp to hit my car!
MJ: sorry
me: imma park like 4 blocks away and walk from now on
MJ: it's acutally a compliment
MJ: b/c it means we think u're hte nicest
MJ: most easy going
MJ: most likely to be insured/responsible
MJ: least liekly to get mad
MJ: least materialistic/care about ur car
MJ: so really u shoudl be glad women's gp wants to hit ur car
me: great
MJ: you're welcome!

Telling someone that 'all the women would rather hit your car' and then convincing them it's a Good Thing &trade is a true mark of an attorney. You have truly found your calling, MJ.

But, back to the point, this unforeseen consequence of being a Nice Guy &trade is like when your parents say you have to finish your dinner of liver before you can eat candy. And then they give you candy liver.

Okay, so it's not like that at all. But I still don't like it.

Sometimes, the Truth hurts

As reported by some operatives in Columbus.

At this week's campus group, CH is leading campus group and asks people to give an example of when they feel different emotions. For guilt:

JL: "I feel guilty when I drop the Bible."

MY: "Why? Like if you drop it on a bug or a dog?"

Updated. In the interest of journalistic accuracy, this post has been corrected to reflect the actual events that transpired. Credit goes to JW. Mozo apologizes for any confusion this may have caused.

pics from the Bmao gig are up.

in•jus•tice n.

You are a 17 year-old girl. You and your 16 year-old niece are attacked by men trying to rape you. You defend yourself. You accidentally kill one of the attackers. Your reward: You get sentenced to death by hanging.

http://www.iranfocus.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=5183

http://www.amnestyusa.org/news/document.do?id=ENGMDE130052006

Those have got to be the worst boyfriends in the world. Ever.

Oh yeah, Happy Valentine's Day. Try not to spend it with someone who's going to abandon you when the rock throwing starts.

what are the reasons why I wish I still lived in Ohio, Alex?

the seasons
not having to wash your car
no street cleaning (ok, not as much)
trees
grass
lawns
birds
traffic (or lack-thereof)
clean air
large, non-skinny, non-attractive people (seriously, if you grow up all your life thinking the rest of the world looks like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine, your wordview is screwed for life)
not having to pay for parking
SNOW DAYS

North East, enjoy the day off.

lucky! gosh!

From the nytimes:

The day went off peacefully, with even normally tangled Turin traffic easing as schools closed for the duration of the Olympics.

What the? How come I'm never a student in Turin when the Winter Olympics come?

I think we all know the real reason they closed the schools. They need more spectators.

my name is url

Things like this make me cringe inside. And out.

RY: "Hmmm, what's the earl?"
JW: (thinking) What the heck is earl? Oooh. She must mean URL.
JW: "You can't say it like that! It's not a word!"

Soon it's gonna get added to the Oxford English Dictionary, and all the computer geeks in the world will groan.

(this is for you, Sherry)

...and I'm glad to be an American, where at least I know I'm free....

I was reading the official rules for a Publisher's Clearing House contest (you know, cuz that's the sort of thing I do when I'm bored, or at work) and I ran across this:

In the event a winner from one of our promotions comes from Canada, a skills test must be successfully completed in order for the winner to claim the prize.

At first I thought it was cuz we didn't think Canadians were smart enough to win prizes or something. Dude, talk about being conceited, America. But then, after further research, I found this:

Under the Criminal Code, it is illegal to hold a lottery without a licence. Giving away a prize based on chance alone — a random draw, for instance — is considered a form of lottery. The contest industry invented the skill-testing question to get around that restriction. If a contest includes an element of skill, it is no longer considered purely a game of chance.

“It’s a loophole, basically, and to the best of my knowledge Canada is the only country that has that requirement,” said Toronto lawyer Brenda Pritchard, who is co-authoring a book called Advertising and Marketing Law in Canada that devotes an entire chapter to contests.

It's ok, the skills test is a simple math problem that only requires you to remember the order of operations.

2 * (18-4) + 4 = ?

Then again, that probably poses a big problem for a lot of people. Oh, well, more chances for me I guess. ...not that I enter this kind of stuff...

when life gives you lemons, throw them back

After a 4 week hiatus, I'm back to commuting on two wheels. I'm sure my mom is overjoyed.

Long story short: I gave my bike to a guy who fixed it when it wouldn't start. I wanted him to put new tires on it because mine are going bald. (Balding, as it is with humans, is not a Good Thing™ on motorcycle tires, or for the rider for that matter). Date: Jan 3, 2006.

after 1 month of phone calls, broken promises and frustration....

I finally get my bike back on Sun, Feb 5, 2006. Same old tires. New fork oil. A complete waste of my time. A month to change fork oil?!!! AND he has yet to give me back my money that I paid for the tires. Chalk this up to another life lesson. Too bad there's so many of them to learn.

i want to be just like everyone else

This post is dedicated to the spirit of the perpetual "Jeff-look-a-likes" that seem to keep popping up in my life.

The earliest Jeff-look-a-like is my brother SW. Everyone always said we looked like twins. We both disagreed. In fact, we could easily tell each other apart. I don't remember a single incident of us mistaking the other for ourselves. Therefore, this Jeff-look-a-like has been debunked.

Back in college, there were quite a few Jeff-look-a-likes. They were always found by my friends, AA and KE. I think at one point there were a total of 3 Jeff-look-a-likes that they knew of. I, always up for scientific discovery, wanted to see these so-called look-a-likes so that we could have a proper comparison. Unfortunately for science, and the field of Jeff-look-a-like-ology, I never got a chance to meet any of them. The closest encounter was when we were driving around for no apparent reason (as you do in college) and KE spotted one. He was walking in some narrow alleys and in between houses (as Jeff-look-a-likes tend to do), and as we were in a car, it was difficult for us to follow him. But that doesn't mean we didn't try. I think we lost him after 5 min of circling around the same area. He just disappeared. I hypothesize that Jeff-look-a-likes have some sort of invisibility that they can turn on, or some special ability to escape from predators. These 3 Jeff-look-a-likes are still inconclusive.

Most recently, I have been informed of yet another Jeff-look-a-like. And this time, dear readers, we have proof. I was first made aware of this look-a-like by MJ. She even wrote about it on her xanga (along with a billion other look-a-likes), but as her xanga is protected, you, dear reader must make do with my summary. Her friend AW is so convinced that I look like this Jeff-look-a-like that she has started referring to me as "Dan Kim." Initially I was skeptical, but after being presented with the facts, I was inclined to agree. Here I will present Facts #1, #2, #3.



Wow, that's some irrefutable evidence there. But, in order to do this properly, and scientifically, we must present some sort of "control" to compare against. Thus, I will present my most recent picture.



You can tell that's me by the "Engineer" that's on my shirt. I indeed am a Computer Engineer. Honestly, now that I see the pictures side-by-side, I don't see the resemblance.

Thus, after careful review and re-review of the facts, I must say that this latest alleged Jeff-look-a-like has also been debunked. Good try, great effort, see you next time.

if you don't want to get anything done today

I know you guys read this blog because you're bored.

Hapland
Hapland2
Hint: click the "?" in the lower right hand corner.

Haven't tried the other games yet.

Try Cube Grow or RPG
You're supposed to figure out the right order to place things on the cube. I haven't solved this one yet.

this makes 0-2

As I'm rushing home to watch 24, I park my car, and step out only to be summoned by a guy who is sitting on a couch by the street (the couch was being thrown out, he didn't move it there). Mind you, I was on my phone at the time, so he was already being really rude by interrupting my conversation. Anyway, he says claims that his truck broke down a few blocks away and he needs money to pay the tow truck. He already has a bunch of money in his hand (like $100+) that he tells me to count (which I decline). He says he only needs $22.50 more. I don't have any cash on me (I just lost it all playing poker with my co-workers and paying for pizza) but I offer to borrow some from my friends (who I can hear inside my apartment. yeah, they're loud....like me). Being a little suspicious, but still wanting to help, I ask a few questions.

Why is he sitting on a couch a few blocks away from his truck? He says he called his friend (who has a tow truck?) and he's on his way, but he asked for an hour to get money together (his friend is charging him?). He was sitting on the couch trying to think of what to do.

I say I will go borrow some money, and go wait with him for the truck. He gets mad and says he isn't trying to burn me, that he's not a bum, and doesn't want to be treated like a baby. Uh, ok. I offer him the use of my cell phone to call his friend so he can call him to come earlier and not wait for an hour. He declines, saying his friend is coming, he doesn't need to call him. Uh, ok. He says he will wait for me while I get the money.

I go inside, tell my friends what happened, borrow some money, come back out (with HC) and say we will go with him to wait for the tow truck. He asks to borrow my phone. He proceeds to tell me some number (that seems like he is making up on the spot. "323, uh, um, 232, uh thirteen fifty seven"). I call the number and hand him the phone. He says his friend is not picking up, and is on the way. He asks if I dialed the right number. I show him the number. He dials again. He hands me the phone and it indeed is ringing but no one picks up. He keeps repeating that all he needs is $22.50 and if I can help him out. He says he will come back and pay me back and for me to trust him like a man. He doesn't want to be treated like a baby. I tell him he asked for my help, I'm not trying to treat him like a baby, but I want to wait with him, and this is my way of helping him. He then says, "Then this is my way of saying good bye," and walks off.

Obviously (or maybe not), this was a scam. The second time in LA that I've actually tried to help someone asking me for help turns out (again) to be a scam (I'm not counting that one time I did help the lady with the dog that didn't turn out to be a scam, but the dog died. That was just weird). This is seriously hardening my heart against helping those who ask for money or help. I don't want to judge them, or go into it being suspicious, but rather give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, when will I need help and have some crazy unbelievable story to tell? And how can I help the "least of these" if I automatically write them off when I first see them? So I try to keep an open mind, and offer what I can. And get burned. Repeatedly.

This sucks.

I won

Last Friday, I went to my first auto show. We saw a car that costs $1.1 million. That's just sick. A car. This is why AIDS is not being cured, there are hungry people in the world, and we still have landmines. Because of cars like that.

Besides that, I had a fun time. It was cool to see the new cars, sit in them, and help my cousin's family decide which car would be their next purchase.

For the rest of the population, auto shows are the equivalent of E3 for video gamers.

Over the weekend, I had my first taste of Korean shaved ice, a.k.a. potbingsoo. I'm getting so cultured by living in LA. The difference between potbingsoo and tswa-bing is that potbingsoo has ice-cream, a bunch of fruits, some chewy thing called duk, and the "pot" in Korean means red bean, so most of them have red bean. AND THERE'S NO CONDENSED MILK. That right there answers the question of which one I like better. No contest. No recount. Period. Exclamation point. That's the best part of tswa-bing! C'mon! I mean, I guess it's alright, but condensed milk is THE best part of shaved ice. How can you enjoy it without any? You can't. You really can't.

Watched 4 straight episodes of 24 on Monday night. It's good. Really good.

And the whole event that prompted me to even post: I won. A couple months ago (like August 2005), I got a ticket for making an illegal right turn from the left turn lane. I decided I didn't want to pay the ticket, so I got an extension, and then requested a Trial by Written Declaration. Goto ticketassassin.com for more info. Anyway, basically you have to pay the ticket, and fill out a form saying why you don't think you're guilty. I got my verdict tonight. Repeat: I won. Oh yeah, feels good. I definitely have to thank MJ for writing my letter for me. And making up reasons why I'm innocent. Sorry, I mean, helping me remember good (truthful) reasons why I'm not guilty. Lawyers are awesome.

http://wearingracism.blogspot.com/2006/01/spencer-gifts-campaign.html

maybe if my hair wasn't so long . . .

Tonight we went to go be in the audience for the Late Late show with Craig Ferguson. After getting in line around 7:30PM, we had to go through a security check (where they confiscated all our cameras and cell phones) and then sit on bench #4. After about 5-10 min of waiting, we hear: "Everyone sitting on bench #4, please listen to me very closely. We've had too many internet reservations show up tonight, and we're going to have to turn you away. These people had these seats reserved months ahead of time and usually we don't have a lot show up, but tonight more than expected came." So we didn't get to watch Dr. Phil and yell "Lemonade!" and do the "sua-bing" motion on live television (live for East Coast, anyway). I know all of you are disappointed not to see my television premiere, but I'm sure I'll eventually get on a show and make a fool of myself.

What a great first taping experience.

use of this information for any scientific studies is just plain insane

MJ, the new poll fulfills my promise.

I turned off logging for this one, so everyone feel free to vote more than once.

finally starting to get over jetlag

This is what happens when too many things happen to you in too short a time and you have a backlog of things to post: Only passing references will be made to major events that do them no justice. Oh well, that's life.

Posted some more pictures from Taiwan. I'm supposed to write an article about the experience, so it may end up getting linked here. Or not.

Got back Friday morning. Arrived in LAX an hour early, but we had to sit and wait on the plane for an hour because customs wasn't open. It sucked.

Went in to work on Friday because I took two weeks of unpaid leave. I figured I could use the money. I basically couldn't stay awake by 1:00PM. It sucked.

Saturday I slept in until 5PM. It was great. People started coming over for New Years. We ended up staying up all night due to........

TC and JT's engagement on New Year's Day. You can read more about it on JT's blog which links to TC's blog. There's also another blog that has details and pictures, but that person is related to a paranoid person which caused the first person to go protected. So you can't read it, unless you know that person. The original person, not the paranoid one. Got it?

Sunday, after eating a celebratory breakfast, went back home and slept til church started. Went to Exodus. Went to eat at a Cantonese place that gave us a $65 nasty fish dish. I got to eat crab though. Mmmmmmmmmm........crab....... Afterwards, went over to D and W's and stayed til 4AM.

SC, SC, SC and HC came to LA yesterday for their cousin's wedding. Hung out with them last night. Talked about how our friends back home are phasing people out of their lives. Yes, KE and AA, I'm talking about you.

Here's a picture of how ingenious the hotel Miyako, where they're staying, is:

welcome back

Home sweet home.

-OR-

"Place where I'm living while I'm studying but I don't know if I'll stay after I graduate because who knows where God will lead me" sweet ...

this is what i post when i'm jetlagged

I was too busy (or forgot; you choose) to post about my 2nd trip to Vegas.

A few things I learned:

1. Putting 7 ppl in a Honda Accord is not comfortable, fun, or any combination of the two.

2. When someone mouths "slow down", it can look like "do it now".

3. Finding $10 on the ground when you're down a few hundred makes you feel better....but not really.

4. EH talks in his sleep.

5. Watching EH and Transhi talk to their parents on the phone telling to go buy Xbox 360s is hilarious.

6. When BM has a feeling, he's gonna win 25 to 1 or 30 to 1. Tell him to bet more than $5 or $2.

7. If you see something at the Wynn buffet that looks like sea urchin, it's not. It's rambutan.

8. MJ loves Snoballs. She wanted BM and I to try one.

Me: Dude, I love White Castle. They're awesome.
BM: Eww. Gross. They're disgusting. Awful. They made me want to throw up.
(later on)
MJ: Try a Snoball!
(we each eat a half)
MJ: Well?
(pause)
BM: They taste like White Castle.
Me: No, they don't.

You can see how much we agree with MJ.

9. Going to Vegas when it's not 120 degrees outside is a lot better than if you do.

The point of this post is that I'm in Taiwan now. And I forgot to post the Vegas pictures before I left. But I resolve to take as many funny pictures in Taiwan as I can to make up for it.

long live King Burger! I mean...

Just wanted to let you guys know that the Burger King makes a cameo appearance in The Chronicles of Narnia.

industry pundits

I'll clarify this post later.

Presented our game to a bunch of industry people today at USC. After ALL the presentations (like 5 million) they were asked to rank which games they liked the best. OUR GAME WON for my class!!!! Our prize: a free game. I chose The Incredibles: Rise of the Underminer. BM and I finished it tonight in 4 hours.

That made us look really good when we talked to the industry people afterwards. I got a few of their cards. They say they're actively hiring, so who knows.....

UPDATE: BM, MJ and I finished the game in 3 hours (RY, stop correcting my math). MJ thought the game was too easy for her, so she let BM play. c.f. this.

UPDATE2: Ok, this is what really happened. MJ handed the game off to RY, but RY started putting in all the cheat codes and had infinite lives. I got bored so I made her give the controller to BM.

nah, I don't need the manual

Insert the key. Turn clockwise to lock. The light will turn on.
Insert the key. Turn counter-clockwise to unlock. Turn counter-clockwise again to unlock all the doors. To make the windows roll down, turn counter-clockwise and hold.

To open the driver's side door:
Unlock the door. Roll down the windows. Open the door from the inside but make sure the light is not on, or the alarm will sound.

--JN, giving me very clear instructions on how to operate his car, (that's driver's side door handle is broken so must be opened from the inside) after I accidentally got my car locked in a parking garage overnight.

JN, your car prevents me from having Alzheimer's. Thanks again for letting me borrow it.

another png moment

It's an awkward moment when your friend gives you a gift, asks you to open it right away, and you tear it open only to find . . . the price tag still on it. =] Thanks, PNG.

Price of gas in OH. Life's not fair.

it's that feeling again

You know that feeling when you've taken a video game class for a semester, and it has a group project due at the end, and a few weeks before the end of the semester the professor tells the class that you'll be presenting your projects ahead of time to a bunch of people from the industry, and it's 4 days before you present, and your game is dependent on your part of the project, and you're really stressing out, and you have no idea how you're gonna pull it off, and then BOOM, you get it working?

It feels good, let me tell you. Really, really good.

I finally added some pictures to the gallery.

Happy Hot-pot Day!

• ticket home: $470.79
  
• 3 dozen crabs: unknown, thanks to Dr. Dave and Steph. This also led to discussions about not drinking milk or eating persimmons while eating crab. (something about being poisonous. I dunno, I was too busy enjoying myself)
  
• moving all the furniture in the known universe so our windows can be replaced: 1 bloody toe
  
• shopping on Black Friday: $58.68 + 4 hours of my life
  
• meal at J. Alexander's: unknown, thanks to Dad (actually, I saw the bill. really, THANKS, Dad!)
  
• Bang! card game: $10.69 + phone call to png
  
• midnight White Castle run: $7.05 + huge amounts of gas (Whitey C.!)
  
• breakfast at Bob Evan's: $20 + looking like Asian tourists
  
• extra charge for carrying my birthday present in my luggage (stupid 50 lb. limit): $25
  

Spending Thanksgiving with my family (including the worst Bang! player ever: MY) and friends: Priceless

Some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's a credit card or something.

3 day work week

Flying from place to place makes me wish.......I had my own private jet. That takes off from my backyard.

I enjoy travelling. The world is too big to just stay in one place. I guess Dad passed on the travelling gene to me.

Back from SF. Going to OH. Sanks-GIVING!!! Crab!!! (I hope Dave comes through, I hope Dave comes through.....)

I learned a new game called Bang! over the weekend. It will be passed on to my siblings over the holiday.

Black Friday is almost upon us

bf2005.com
gotadeal.com
blackfridayads.com

taken from The NY Times

rant from young, never-married, single, male

Just heard on the radio about a husband and wife betting on who the artist for a song was. They wagered $50.

Wagering money against your spouse is the most stupidest thing I've ever heard. (yes, not just stupidest, MOST stupidest) It's like betting against yourself. I mean, don't married couples share money anyway? If they don't, that's like saying they don't expect to be together forever. Don't marriage vows mean anything anymore? I guess not.

I'll never marry someone who wants to keep a seperate account.

now i can work even less than i already do

Don't you love it when the company you're working for gets bought out by another company that has an even better vacation day policy? I sure do. Who knew floating holidays would bring so much joy into my life?

KKD

Sometimes (okay, maybe like once a month), when you go into work early and are slaving away trying to get code to compile, you suddenly start starving because you ate breakfast and your metabolism is in high gear. When this happens, one of the best feelings in the world is when someone brings donuts for everyone. Krispy Kreme donuts. <homer>mmmmmm, doooonuts.</homer>

"What?" "Nothing, Mom...."

From this article:

"This is part of a phenomena in which parents have no idea what their children are exposed to. There is a code that children are aware of but not parents," says Sue Rusche, president and CEO of the anti-drug group National Families In Action.

Yeah, for all second generation Asian Americans, it's called English.

aren't you forgetting something?

The other day, as we were walking on the way back from lunch, my co-worker sees a sign advertising a house for sale. Due to the current crazy real-estate market, we wonder how much it's going for. So of course, he calls. The realtor doesn't pick up and it goes to voice mail.

"Hi, I'm looking at one of your houses for sale at 4222 (something) St. and I just wanted to know how much it's going for, how many bedrooms it has, and how much square feet. If you could call me back, I would appreciate it. Thanks."

And then he hangs up.

Now imagine you are the realtor and you receive that message on your voicemail. You hear the message and try to call him back. Yeah, now you see the problem. My co-workers are very "special".

why I work at a startup

Someone just tried to punch a fart out of a fellow co-worker. This is why I don't get bored at work. Too much entertainment.

She shall be red, black, and beautiful. And they shall call her Kawasaki.

From the i-know-you're-bored-at-work dept.

Actually, I'm bored at work, otherwise why else would I be posting this?

http://www.patmedia.net/marklevinson/cool/cool_illusion.html

http://www.jrentech.net/benz/random/posts/rnd/pho.swf

quirks of the web

You know when you sign up for a website and it has that picture of distorted text that it asks you to type in? Sometimes I can't figure them out. In our quest to keep our accounts free from some-computer-signs-up-for-a-billion-accounts, somewhere along the way I have been cut-off from the rest of humanity. Maybe it's because I spend so much time with computers. Or maybe it's just because I'm dumb. Or both. Or neither. That's deep, I know.

On an entirely different note, I went to the xanga homepage today and I saw at the top they had a tab that said "Metros". The first thing that popped in my mind was "They have a specific section for metros, now?" So sad. This is all BH and EH's fault.

noise pollution

I think I just woke up all my neighbors in a 5 mile radius. I took my new (to me, but not as in unused) motorcycle around the block. They all hate me now.

societal idiosyncrasies

Why is it when you walk into a bathroom (or elevator), you automatically become responsible for everything in its current state? For example, you are at a party at a friend's house. You walk into the bathroom, and there is pee on the floor. If you do nothing and walk out THAT VERY SECOND, it doesn't matter; if someone saw you come out of the bathroom, they'll think you did it. Same goes if you walk into an elevator and smell something foul; the next person that walks in will think you let one.

It's like you have to clean everything and/or get rid of the smell so that nothing can be blamed on you. You wanna know what my question is? Where is the guy who left the bathroom/elevator before you?! How come he/she gets to get away with it?! There's never anyone waiting for the bathroom when they leave, but there always is when you walk out. Murphy's Law.

Awww, yeah!

Class M1 license, baby!

I dunno if this means I'm stupid or what, but I thought motorcycle licenses were a seperate license. Like you carry around a driver's license _and_ a motorcycle license. My dreams of two-license grandeur were quickly dashed at the DMV when they told me they just issue one license and it says class C and M1 on it. I supposed that's more efficient.

post #214

I am constantly amazed at how fast people comment on this blog. Actually, I'm surprised people even read this thing. My life is not that interesting, people. Which says a lot about how boring work is for all of you.

People all over the world play the same card games differently. Who changes the rules?! Maybe when people start teaching it to other people, they forget the rules, and in order to not seem dumb, they just make up new ones. Ahh, card games. Our family's favorite pastime.

I know why I like reading other people's blogs so much. I'm (generally) not a talker, due to my introverted ways. I enjoy listening to people, especially if they're interesting or funny. Blogs are like walking around listening to people's one-sided conversations, but if they bore you, or you dislike them, you can walk away. And they neither notice nor care. I wish I could do that in real life. Maybe I'll try it.

this post is a placeholder

It has come to my attention that recently a friend has started the "phasing out" process. This happens when the person in question acquires a boyfriend or girlfriend and starts to spend increasing amounts of time with that person........to the detriment of their previous "I'm-bored-what-should-we-do" friends. At first it starts slow. Maybe they start arriving later than usual, or they stop calling. Eventually, they miss meetings altogether and start making excuses.

I, for one, am disgusted by this practice. You know what this says to me? That person was using his/her friends as "placeholder friends". These are people you hang out with until your girlfriend/boyfriend comes along. Once you get hooked up, you forego the other friendships and concentrate on your new-found relationship. How do you think this makes your "placeholder friends" feel? They are slowing being phased out of your life. Where once there was fledging camaraderie, now there is only a barren land of lost hope (as opposed to the lush, fertile, rich land of lost hope, but that's somewhere else). Once they had purpose--to make you forget you were alone in the world and that nobody loved you. Now they are just useless acquaintances you stepped on while you ran to your future spouse. Well, people, this has to stop!

Don't phase people out! Surgically extract them from your life. Just cut all communication with your friends. Don't make excuses. Tell them how it is. "I have a (girl|boy)friend now, and I'd rather spend this time with them. I'll call you when they're busy and I'm bored." At least this way your friends aren't clinging onto that one ray of hope that they will see you this week. This way they'll know how things stand and won't be _as_ disappointed when you don't show up for their birthday......again. It's like a bandaid you have to pull off. Do you want your friends to be the hairs that get pulled slowly? Do it in one quick motion! Hope is a very powerful thing. Crushing that hope week after week is just cruel (although usual) punishment. Don't do that to your friends. Even if they were just placeholders.

enunciate people

Note: 3ds Max is a 3D modeling program, may also be referred to as "Max".

Conversation I had in class today:

group member: "Do we have Max?"
Professor: "Are you the only one that knows how to use Max?"
me: "I know how to use Macs."
Professor: "Ok, so we have two people who can model."
me: "Oh, I don't know how to model."
Professor (incredulous look): "You know how to use Max, but you don't know how to model?"
me: "Yeah, I have a Mac, but I don't know how to use 3ds Max or Maya to model stuff."

At this point everyone in the group, including my professor, are just staring at me like they can't believe how stupid I am. Yup, great day at school today.

Welcome to the blogosphere

My sister has started a blog. I won't post the site here, for fear she'll unleash Booba on me in case she wants to keep it private. Finally, my family is catching up technologically to the rest of the world. Actually, my family is pretty up-to-date (I'd like to think I've had a part in that, along with my brother) but my dad still insists on using dial-up to access his company's VPN even though we have a cable modem and wireless router at home. It just boggles the mind, I know. (Mei, maybe we should cut all his phone cords so he's forced to use the wireless. Shhhh...)

Whenever people ask me if I call my parents I say no. But that's because at any given time, there are 50 emails zipping back and forth across the country keeping everyone up to date. Some of this includes all the Aunts and Uncles and various cousins (and extending to Taiwan). I'm still very proud that my extended family all has email and knows how to use it. Good job, older Asian generation!

what I accomplished today

On my way to work this morning, I figured out why LA is so impersonal. It's because everyone is so superficial. Superficiality (yes, that's a word) doesn't work among friends. Say you lived in a small town where everyone knew everyone else. You try to act like someone you're not, or drive a buggy that everyone knows you can't afford, and it gets you nowhere. People call you out. It doesn't work. But say you were a stranger to that town. You pull up in your nice new Italian hand-made 2 hp buggy and everyone thinks you're rich. See? Showing off only works if people don't know you. So LA'ers purposely try to not-know people so they can be superficial. But the fact that you don't know anyone pressures you to show off and BE superficial. Thus, perpetuating this vicious cycle that is LA life. I know, deep, huh.

the most dangerous restroom in the world

excuse me, you see this space? yeah, it's mine

Yesterday, we had group presentations in my class. We were presenting game engines and were using the LCD projector. During one of the presentations, a student walks and stands RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, blocking my view, and proceeds to present his slides. I'm sitting in my chair thinking, Is this guy gonna move? Doesn't he feel uncomfortable standing so close to me? Does he even know he is blocking my view? Apparently not. You know how people shuffle their feet back and forth when they present stuff? He kept RUNNING INTO ME. He was literally touching me while he was presenting. I couldn't move away because we were sitting in rolling chairs and I was already against the side with people sitting around me. Possibly the most uncomfortable 10 minutes I've ever experienced. Then again, I haven't embarrassed myself in front of my gf/fiance/wife's friends/siblings/parents yet, so who knows what God has in store for me? I can't wait.

Do people not understand the concept of personal space? I would blame it on his ethnicity (Indian--you know, maybe it's so crowded over there they get scared when they have empty space around them--yes, that's a racist comment, but Asians are racist), but there are plenty of Americans that have to stand within licking-distance to your face when they talk to you. I don't get it. And I don't want to. Please just stand a reasonable distance away from me when you converse with me. OR ARE PRESENTING SLIDES THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO SEE.

me and my 5 talents

At my church in Ohio, we started two Bible studies at two local chinese restaurants. The workers don't have time to come to church on Sundays, so a few people go to the restaurants Friday night after it closes and lead Bible studies in the restaurant. I heard stories of how most live together in a cramped apartment, but I never saw it first hand. Reading this article in the NYTimes really hits home. I know these people. Some of them sat next to me at church (the ones that could come).

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/02/jobs/02lee.html?8dpc

How blessed are we to have been born in the richest country on earth, with all the opportunity in the world? And how responsible are we going to be when we finally have to answer for what we did with our lives?

"Oh, God, I was busy moving to a different country, learning a different language, different culture, trying to earn money for my family back home to survive. I'm sorry I couldn't witness to that many people."

"Oh, God, I was busy playing video games, hanging out with friends, watching movies, eating out, thinking about how to earn even more money so I could enjoy the luxurious life you gave me. Sorry I couldn't witness to that many people."

Yeah, one of those people is gonna get a well-deserved smack-down.

an alternative theory

[17:13] somebody: i read that article about christian men not dating
[17:13] somebody: i have another theory
[17:13] somebody: christian women are ugly
[17:13] somebody: for the most part